Last weekend, Saturday, Elodie started biking without the safety wheels. I was very proud of her. I do not know if it is because she's a girl but it was the first child who expressed her feelings.
When I asked her why she stopped pedaling she answered: "I'm stressed out." She was afraid of falling. It was cute her way to tell me ... I am stressed.
And when she felt she was on the brink of success she said: "I feel good today, and when we feel good we can do great things." She wanted to tell me,I feel I will be able to do this. And she succeeded on the next try.
If you are in the neighbourhood, stop by, Élodie will show you how she has taken all steps to successfully ride her two-wheel bicycle.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Elodie wheels around
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Faculty
On May 6, MJ and I were invited to participate in a continuing education seminar at the Faculty of Nursing of the University of Montreal. The subject is “soins aux familles” which I have a hard time translating. It would be something like how to provide support and care for the family members of a chronically or seriously ill patient.
This week long training provided to nurses included a live interview of a family touched by serious illness (usually cancer). The head of the training, Ms. D, knows a nurse at the hospital Sacré-Coeur. She is MJ’s angel which introduced us to my hematologist Dr. L. Ms. D was looking for a family for the week of training and our names was proposed.
We did not bring the children but we had a picture of them and they were a major part of the discussion.
18 nurses were enrolled in this session and watched on closed circuit television, or through a window, the interview conducted by the head of training. One objective was to show participants a method of approaching the family to get to know them better(not just the patient) and provide more appropriate care hence better care.
Note: Ms. D, if you read my blog and you want to correct me, please contact me anytime.
The main interview lasted almost 2 hours. We responded to questions, expressed emotions, cried a lot. We talked about the disease but not in detail, rather as a backdrop for the rest. Then the participants gave feedback to Ms. D. What did they retain? What had touched them? What would they do different when they return to work?
During the debriefing it was our turn to be the observer behind the window.
Finally we had the last word by having the opportunity to comment after their debriefing.
The basis of the method of interview is a tool Ms. D calls a genogram. It is a kind of drawing resembling a family tree. Ms. D said that it helps to see the patient in a broader context. He is not the only one affected by the disease. All the people who gravitate around him are affected too in one way or another and they in turn have an impact on the patient's response to the disease.
Without giving too much detail on the genogram it is important to know that this tool opened the door wide to emotions. This is a simple way to get the person in front of you to share some very deep thoughts.
Those who know me well know that I don’t need to have the door wide open to start talking and I wonder if on a few occasions Ms. D did not ask herself the question: "how can I stop him and return to my questions." But, but, but I still managed to stop at one point so MJ could also share her point of view ;-)
Moreover, this directed discussion period has allowed Josée and I to discover a little more about each other. Even though we’ve been together 25 years, our perspective of the other on some issues has changed ... or evolved.
In summary we have discussed the following topics:
· Relationship with our respective parents (also with my brothers and sisters)
· Relationships with our children
· How did we get the news of the disease
· How have we communicated the news to the children
· What each of us bring to the other
· How each of us live or respond to the disease
· Identify the strength of the other to defeat the disease (not just the patient)
· Identify the strengths of children to pass through this test
Out of everything that was said that morning, I asked each of the participants to retain at least this: If you can not find a way to give hope to your patients at least have the wisdom not to remove the hope they have, because hope is the basis of any treatment. Hope does not cure everything, but you can’t heal without hope.
Josée's message was: as much as possible focus on the person in front of you, make him/her feel important, be it the patient or a member of the family.
MJ and I were delighted with this half-day. I believe that all participants were also appreciative. Many were waiting for us outside the room to thank us for our candor. I can tell you that it's always nice to be told that you’re good and nice ;-)
One comment that touched us most deeply: "we would all want to be adopted by you guys." For a couple with a main objective to be the best parents possible, these are words that go straight to the heart.
Marie-Josée and I thank Ms. D to have invited us and we thank all nurses for their warmth and their comments. We wish them good luck in the continuation of their work that requires great compassion for their fellowman.
This week long training provided to nurses included a live interview of a family touched by serious illness (usually cancer). The head of the training, Ms. D, knows a nurse at the hospital Sacré-Coeur. She is MJ’s angel which introduced us to my hematologist Dr. L. Ms. D was looking for a family for the week of training and our names was proposed.
We did not bring the children but we had a picture of them and they were a major part of the discussion.
18 nurses were enrolled in this session and watched on closed circuit television, or through a window, the interview conducted by the head of training. One objective was to show participants a method of approaching the family to get to know them better(not just the patient) and provide more appropriate care hence better care.
Note: Ms. D, if you read my blog and you want to correct me, please contact me anytime.
The main interview lasted almost 2 hours. We responded to questions, expressed emotions, cried a lot. We talked about the disease but not in detail, rather as a backdrop for the rest. Then the participants gave feedback to Ms. D. What did they retain? What had touched them? What would they do different when they return to work?
During the debriefing it was our turn to be the observer behind the window.
Finally we had the last word by having the opportunity to comment after their debriefing.
The basis of the method of interview is a tool Ms. D calls a genogram. It is a kind of drawing resembling a family tree. Ms. D said that it helps to see the patient in a broader context. He is not the only one affected by the disease. All the people who gravitate around him are affected too in one way or another and they in turn have an impact on the patient's response to the disease.
Without giving too much detail on the genogram it is important to know that this tool opened the door wide to emotions. This is a simple way to get the person in front of you to share some very deep thoughts.
Those who know me well know that I don’t need to have the door wide open to start talking and I wonder if on a few occasions Ms. D did not ask herself the question: "how can I stop him and return to my questions." But, but, but I still managed to stop at one point so MJ could also share her point of view ;-)
Moreover, this directed discussion period has allowed Josée and I to discover a little more about each other. Even though we’ve been together 25 years, our perspective of the other on some issues has changed ... or evolved.
In summary we have discussed the following topics:
· Relationship with our respective parents (also with my brothers and sisters)
· Relationships with our children
· How did we get the news of the disease
· How have we communicated the news to the children
· What each of us bring to the other
· How each of us live or respond to the disease
· Identify the strength of the other to defeat the disease (not just the patient)
· Identify the strengths of children to pass through this test
Out of everything that was said that morning, I asked each of the participants to retain at least this: If you can not find a way to give hope to your patients at least have the wisdom not to remove the hope they have, because hope is the basis of any treatment. Hope does not cure everything, but you can’t heal without hope.
Josée's message was: as much as possible focus on the person in front of you, make him/her feel important, be it the patient or a member of the family.
MJ and I were delighted with this half-day. I believe that all participants were also appreciative. Many were waiting for us outside the room to thank us for our candor. I can tell you that it's always nice to be told that you’re good and nice ;-)
One comment that touched us most deeply: "we would all want to be adopted by you guys." For a couple with a main objective to be the best parents possible, these are words that go straight to the heart.
Marie-Josée and I thank Ms. D to have invited us and we thank all nurses for their warmth and their comments. We wish them good luck in the continuation of their work that requires great compassion for their fellowman.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Port-O-Cath
As you know this week I had a new distribution system for chemo installed. Instead of a PICC line I now have a Port-O-Cath.
Not many images are available on the Internet but I found one that is OK.
As you can see it is a plastic box (mine is white) with a membrane and a central tube.
It's in the membrane that we insert the needle that brings the liquid flowing in the tube then to my right jugular vein. All this was inserted under my skin so when healing is complete I will not have to worry about a bandage or an opening in the skin (open door to infections). The needle going through the skin to distribute the chemo is like this.
The nurse takes the white part between the fingers of one hand. With the other hand she feels the skin to locate the valve and maintains it in position while the right hand pierces the skin. The attached tube stays outside on the chest so they can plug in pouches of chemotherapy or other treatments. My scars are still fresh but it should be less apparent with time. The Yellow or blue is a bruise, it will disappear eventually ;-)
The operation is done with local anesthesia. I am laying on my back with the head turned to the left. Nurses install surgical blankets leaving only the part where surgery will take place (neck, part of right shoulder and chest). Injections of anesthetic is what hurts most then you feel fingers pushing and pulling and lifting your skin but it don't feel pain. There are two incisions because they have to install the tube in the jugular (upper incision) and then adjust the length at the other end where they have inserted the valve (other incision). By the way the tube connection on the valve is similar to the fittings on a engine's carburetor.
When everything was installed I had to stay 3 hours on the back under observation. She was watching for bleeding but also the connection that I mentioned is quite fragile so I could not use strength from the right side (not lift my head, not lift my arm etc..) in case the tube wold dislodge and start floating in the jugular.
Anecdote: Toward the end of the operation, the doctor said: YIKES!. So I said, this is not the kind of sound a patient wants to hear from the doctor operating on him (do not forget that I do not see anything because the blanket covers my face). He hesitated and said, no no everything is fine is just the thread that came out of the needle. A little later he sighed and immediately said that this was perhaps not a good thing to do under the circumstances because I could interpret it negatively. We all laughed.
Not many images are available on the Internet but I found one that is OK.
As you can see it is a plastic box (mine is white) with a membrane and a central tube.
It's in the membrane that we insert the needle that brings the liquid flowing in the tube then to my right jugular vein. All this was inserted under my skin so when healing is complete I will not have to worry about a bandage or an opening in the skin (open door to infections). The needle going through the skin to distribute the chemo is like this.
The nurse takes the white part between the fingers of one hand. With the other hand she feels the skin to locate the valve and maintains it in position while the right hand pierces the skin. The attached tube stays outside on the chest so they can plug in pouches of chemotherapy or other treatments. My scars are still fresh but it should be less apparent with time. The Yellow or blue is a bruise, it will disappear eventually ;-)
The operation is done with local anesthesia. I am laying on my back with the head turned to the left. Nurses install surgical blankets leaving only the part where surgery will take place (neck, part of right shoulder and chest). Injections of anesthetic is what hurts most then you feel fingers pushing and pulling and lifting your skin but it don't feel pain. There are two incisions because they have to install the tube in the jugular (upper incision) and then adjust the length at the other end where they have inserted the valve (other incision). By the way the tube connection on the valve is similar to the fittings on a engine's carburetor.
When everything was installed I had to stay 3 hours on the back under observation. She was watching for bleeding but also the connection that I mentioned is quite fragile so I could not use strength from the right side (not lift my head, not lift my arm etc..) in case the tube wold dislodge and start floating in the jugular.
Anecdote: Toward the end of the operation, the doctor said: YIKES!. So I said, this is not the kind of sound a patient wants to hear from the doctor operating on him (do not forget that I do not see anything because the blanket covers my face). He hesitated and said, no no everything is fine is just the thread that came out of the needle. A little later he sighed and immediately said that this was perhaps not a good thing to do under the circumstances because I could interpret it negatively. We all laughed.
Discovery
I wanted to share a discovery on the web with you. It is an online database for books. I am in the process of entering our own collection. You can view it in the left column. I find it fascinating because we have a large collection of books (habit taken from my parents) and I like the fact that you can easily identify them with this online tool. By the way if you're interested in any of our books send me an email I will gladly lend it to you. The site is called Library Thing. It is available in several languages.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
YES YES YES
Anyone who has attended a Tony Robbins conference understands the reference in my title. The reference is also used to its simplest expression, as a statement of acceptance. Dr Y agreed to opening up my belly and explore the possibilities.
Note that I did not say he will operate because he was very careful to tell me he does not know if he can operate. Clearly he needs to see for himself, with his eyes, the extent of cancer spread and the impact in my abdomen before he can decide if he can resect anything.
The various images (PET scan and others) do not give enough details to confirm the actions to be taken though they are specific enough to say that my liver is not affected. So it seems he will not have to touch it.
This is great news since the partial liver resection is a challenge and furthermore this support the thesis that my cancer has not spread through blood, but probably by contact (until now). If you remember this was one of the strikes against me in relation to the success of the operation so it's one less now.
The surgery will take place either May 25 or June 3. I hope it will be June 3 because it is MJ's birthday. I believe it would bring me good luck. Moreover, June 3rd 2009 marks the 25th anniversary of our relationship. We dated for the first time on that day in 1984. Christine and Marco will surely remember.
As you can imagine I am very happy (Marie-Josée also). Things are going as I had imagined even in the slightest details. I visualize every day and I saw the operation in late May early June... Huh! Huh!
Here is how I see what's coming.
I see myself sitting in my hospital bed with a big smile listening to the doctor telling me that things were not as bad as expected, he was able to remove all apparent traces of cancer and that I will recover quickly from the surgery. The recovery is not easy, but I see myself going through it with a smile surrounded by those I love.
My visualization continues a little more down the road. Once I returned I finally put the finishing touches to really start the company and also I am helping my friend Barry at the Colorectal Cancer Association of Canada. I even have a vision of me in 20 years surrounded by my wife and children.
Thank you to everyone for the support and encouragement.
Don't stop praying, sending positive thoughts, etc..
Ciao!
Note that I did not say he will operate because he was very careful to tell me he does not know if he can operate. Clearly he needs to see for himself, with his eyes, the extent of cancer spread and the impact in my abdomen before he can decide if he can resect anything.
The various images (PET scan and others) do not give enough details to confirm the actions to be taken though they are specific enough to say that my liver is not affected. So it seems he will not have to touch it.
This is great news since the partial liver resection is a challenge and furthermore this support the thesis that my cancer has not spread through blood, but probably by contact (until now). If you remember this was one of the strikes against me in relation to the success of the operation so it's one less now.
The surgery will take place either May 25 or June 3. I hope it will be June 3 because it is MJ's birthday. I believe it would bring me good luck. Moreover, June 3rd 2009 marks the 25th anniversary of our relationship. We dated for the first time on that day in 1984. Christine and Marco will surely remember.
As you can imagine I am very happy (Marie-Josée also). Things are going as I had imagined even in the slightest details. I visualize every day and I saw the operation in late May early June... Huh! Huh!
Here is how I see what's coming.
I see myself sitting in my hospital bed with a big smile listening to the doctor telling me that things were not as bad as expected, he was able to remove all apparent traces of cancer and that I will recover quickly from the surgery. The recovery is not easy, but I see myself going through it with a smile surrounded by those I love.
My visualization continues a little more down the road. Once I returned I finally put the finishing touches to really start the company and also I am helping my friend Barry at the Colorectal Cancer Association of Canada. I even have a vision of me in 20 years surrounded by my wife and children.
Thank you to everyone for the support and encouragement.
Don't stop praying, sending positive thoughts, etc..
Ciao!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
We're Back
Back to everyday life.
It is certainly a contrast to our two weeks in Dubai. The trip was fantastic.
Many of you have followed our activities through the photos. We celebrated the 12th anniversary of Tristan in a restaurant specializing in fish, The Seafood Market at the Meridien hotel. A memorable evening marked by the new tastings like shark.
Most of the things we see in Dubai are exceptional. It's big, it's expensive, it is clean, everything is new, but in unreal proportions.
In any case I can say I have re-energized. To a point where I wonder if there is cancer. I feel better than in the past 5 years. This is a good sign. I meet Dr Y. Thursday and I'll be set for the operation. I can not wait because I'm ready mentally. Inregards to the household organization, we will finalize the plans when we have more details.
Good day to all!
It is certainly a contrast to our two weeks in Dubai. The trip was fantastic.
Many of you have followed our activities through the photos. We celebrated the 12th anniversary of Tristan in a restaurant specializing in fish, The Seafood Market at the Meridien hotel. A memorable evening marked by the new tastings like shark.
Most of the things we see in Dubai are exceptional. It's big, it's expensive, it is clean, everything is new, but in unreal proportions.
In any case I can say I have re-energized. To a point where I wonder if there is cancer. I feel better than in the past 5 years. This is a good sign. I meet Dr Y. Thursday and I'll be set for the operation. I can not wait because I'm ready mentally. Inregards to the household organization, we will finalize the plans when we have more details.
Good day to all!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Dubai
News: It seems that even if youre not on Facebook you are able to see the photos publlihed there. So here are the links but tell me if it does not work
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019344&id=1057565304&l=0693fd993c
and this one
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019655&id=1057565304&l=6505ec4400
Here are pictures of our trip to Dubai for those not on facebook. http://picasaweb.google.ca/martinraymond.qc/Dubai?feat=directlink
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019344&id=1057565304&l=0693fd993c
and this one
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019655&id=1057565304&l=6505ec4400
Here are pictures of our trip to Dubai for those not on facebook. http://picasaweb.google.ca/martinraymond.qc/Dubai?feat=directlink
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