Hospital Admission

I just got the confirmation. I will be admitted into Sacre-Coeur Hospital tonight at 8. On vient de me confirmer le tout. Je serai admis à l’hôpital Sacré-Coeur ce soir à 20:00.

They even told me my room number, 342. Don’t bother visiting thoug because my stay is short and I will probably be sleeping most of the time.

More news as soon as I can.

Ciao!

Crossroads

We're back from vacation and as I had announced I had a PET scan on August 6 and we got the results on the 10. I have lots of things to talk about so I'll start with the news.
The scan report triggered my haematologist to change my treatment . Those of you who have read read my blog for a while know that I don’t have many options because I am KRAS mutant which eliminates therapy with Vectibix and Erbitux. So we can do two things: Clinical trials or resume Oxaliplatin. Oxaliplatin is the ox in FOLFOX, the cocktail  that I took at the beginning and that was pretty effective. Unfortunately, I had an allergic reaction so we had to stop therapy in January 2009.
My haematologist considering the significantly positive response that I had to FOLFOX (shrinking of tumors), thinks it’s worth trying a challenge to Oxaliplatin. That’s why I'm going to be hospitalized on Monday and Tuesday of this week. I will be on tight medical supervision and they will try to give me Oxaliplatin over eight hours instead of 2. An infusion much slower than usual which could allow my body to tolerate the treatment.
We'll know soon enough.
Otherwise there are three studies currently in the U.S. on promising products for cases like mine. I must discuss them with my haematologist in order to decide which one to register into. In my next blog I will give you the details of these studies.
Apart from that our holidays were fantastic. Aside from the three cockroaches in our rooms and the iffy temperature on the cruise, everything was perfect.
The photos are on Facebook but for those who are not connected with Marie-Josee the following links will allow you to see the albums.
Cruise and Orlando and Palm Beach.
During my vacation I read a lot. I started with two magazines bought at the Montreal airport. One on the topic of technology in the medieval times and the other on the theory of evolution revised because of new discoveries. Some very interesting reading.
Then I read the latest novel by Michael Crichton, Pirates Latitudes. Interesting story since I was always sailing the carribeans while reading it. Then I read Jordan’s youth novel because he found it so good. Then on my new digital book reader, the Kindle DX, I read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. I had already read his other book called The Tipping Point and I appreciated his style, a cross between a research report and an opinion piece. Blink speaks of the phenomenon of intuition or what he calls Adaptive Unconscious. It attempts to show that sometimes it is better to make decisions without much analysis, but instead to follow our gut feeling.
I also read an old story, Shogun, a novel about medieval Japan. I then started reading Malcolm Gladwell’s (again) Outlier, after reading Stanley Gold’s story: Cancel the Funeral, I'd Rather Play Golf. He shares with us how he survived a metastatic melanoma.
All this reading motivate my children to read to. At the restaurant, people would comment on their concentration on their books.
Tomorrow I will start my preparation for hospital stay. I have to take Singulair to help my body fight any reactive inflammation.
 
I will write again as soon as I can.
Ciao!

Time

Time is a fascinating subject, complex and simple at the same time. I wanted to talk about it because lately at the end of a day I thought that time goes by fast. My reflections led me to want to do more in my day, don't lose your time, don't waste it. Especially since we don't really know how long we have left, you and me the same.


So I told myself that as I need to accelerate my tempo so to fill my days. But there is a paradox. Since my diagnosis the message I perceive from my readings or my conversations is: Take your time, enjoy the moment, slow down and embrace life.

In addition, some studies show that stress can promote the development of cancer so the goal is to reduce stress, in other words slow the pace of life.

But there is another paradox, the slow pace can reduce stress and impact on the physical but at the same time it can increase my mental stress because I did not do everytthing I wanted. I exaggerate a little to illustrate my state of mind ... An internal conflict that sometimes I have between wanting to do a lot and wanting to slow down and enjoy the moment.

Note: The basic assumption is that you can not enjoy the present moment by having a life at full speed. It would be like trying to smell a flower on the side of the road while driving at 100km / h.

I hear you telling me it's about compromises and choices. That's life: a series of choices.

I hope that everyone adheres to this idea that everything in life is a matter of choice (read Stephen Covey to be convinced). There is great freedom in being able to choose and it is also a heavy responsibility sometimes. So much so that some will deny their responsability by blaming genetics or external factors. Example: after an angry outburst someone would say sorry it's not my fault I was born like thiss or sorry sweetheart but my boss asks me so many things that I could not leave the office before. Wrong, these people must accept that they have chosen to throw a tantrum or not to leave the office earlier. The reasons for their choices may be valid or not but the fact remains that it is a choice they made.

Let us return to our subject of time and choices to make. I'm curious by nature so I want to touch a lot. I want to do yoga, judo, practice guitar, listen to music proposed by our club. I also want to be a good husband and a good father, so I want to spend time with my wife fully concentrate on her needs and I want to play with my children and focus completely on their needs. I also want to start a business and be proud of it and I want my father-in-law to be proud of the support he gives me in this venture.

All these things do not easily fit into an agenda that is not open from 6:00 in the morning to 23:00 at night.

Therefore I need to make choices and I do. I take my responsibility for these choices, but not always easyly. There are days like the one that triggered the text where I question myself. Did I do enough? At this moment, I am reminded of my friend Sylvain who once told me: Everyday, Martin, you do your best and you can not demand more of yourself. God himself does not ask more than that.

So, what is time for you, does it go quickly or slowly. Do you enjoy time passing by, the present?

Santé!

Folding socks

I just finished folding fifty pairs of socks. Any fan of this activity among you guys? People who thrive on folding socks...


I can't say it's my favorite activity, but if there is one one thing that MJ, my wife, lets me do without arguing it's that. Me, I let her do the dishes, laundry, grocery ... Finally, pretty much everything else that comes with managing the household. Folding the socks is a minor contribution.

It has gotten to the point where I have developed a method. I had to when 80% of our socks are navy blue or black. In fact the easiest part is Elodie's. They are brightly colored, like pink or purple, and smaller. The challenge is the boys'. My method is to group by colors first or should I say hues, less dark blue together, black in another package and the rest in a final package. Of course, beforehand, I separated the white and sports socks.

In the three dark socks piles, I separate again based on the "pattern" or style. Some are textured only on the upper half, others throughout the length. I can also subdivide based on fabric, polyester or cotton.

Then I take each package separately and spread each sock next to the other in line as for a military review. At this time the operation is done in a very bright light to properly detect the subtle differences in color. I begin to "pair" but sometimes there are still more than 2 socks that can form a pair. At this point I need to rely on my judgement and decide.

After this whole process always remains some orphans. Tonight ... about fifteen ophans are on the table. They will remain in the basket until the next batch unless I find their soul mate in a drawer, alone, awaiting a reunion.

I hope my story put a smile on your face. For me, it brought back memories of my youth. On Saturday evenings watching hockey it was the only personal contribution that my mother would ask of me in the management of her household: folding socks and face cloths on the kitchen table. I was not doing the dishes or my bed...

Santé!

It Ain't Over

Hello everyone,
I know there is some delay between my messages but don't worry things are going well even though I don't write as often.
My time is shared between the chemotherapy treatments, doctor appointments or my psychologist appointments and my family activities.
Indeed since January we went out 4 times (three for me) for cross-country skiing and went to Stowe, Vermont for a ski weekend.
My father-in-law is now back in Canada for his retirement and he spoils us often dining out or with homecooked meal by Loulou (his wife).
We celebrated Valentine's day at home with the family of Marie-Josée. Big party with loud music which had Windows shaking.
Two of my brothers come to spend time with me during my non-chemotherapy week and helps me keep my morale up playing X - BOX 360. Football and hockey of course although we haven't managed to beat the system... yet.

Of course in the last week I spend a lot of time watching the Olympics (day and night).

Yesterday, we had the opportunity to introduce our two boys to a rock show at the Bell centre, Clapton- Beck tour. Fantastic! Thanks to my niece Myrelle for the tickets at an incredible price.
So little time and little inspiration to write...

The meeting with Dr. L mentioned in my previous message was special and here's why. We had not seen him since December 2, not seen since the pet scan. Our nurse called to tell us that he wanted to see us on January 14 even if he was not seeing patients that week. Naturally, the reaction of Marie-Josée and I was a little anxious. Why was it so important to give us the results of the scan while there is no appointments that week. To Josée this meant bad news. For my part, I was scared too. We therefore had an OMPAC counselor (Multi resources agency for people with cancer). Charming lady who has helped us to prepare for all eventualities. Finally, news were good as I mentioned in my other message and Dr. L explained to us that he was leaving for two weeks, and he did not want to leave us without news that long. That is why he made a special effort to see us in-between two commitments at the hospital... not because the news were bad. It goes without saying that we were very excited by the news, Marie-Josée even more than myself because I believe she expected the worst.

We also had an appointment with my surgeon Dr. Y. He got the pet scan results by his Secretary who read the summary on the phone. We could see his face illuminate. It was excellent news for him also. He had unfortunately had to leave a tumour in place in June because it was too dangerous to attempt to extract it, so he expected to see some tumor on the pet scan. He was pleasantly surprised to find that out that the scan didn't show any. It is therefore possible that the HIPEC procedure has successfully eliminated whatever he had left. As for the 1cm ganglion, he told me he could not go in to remove it because he would not find it. He said that at this size, with blood in the cavity, it would be impossible to locate.
What this tells me is that it is not worth worrying about it for the moment. We will monitor it with another scan in 2-3 months and we will not let it become a problem.
If you go by the hospital Sacre-Coeur on Wednesday 24, I will be getting my third chemotherapy. You can come and say HI between 10:00 and 14:30.
Have a good day!

Martin

H1N1

What are the odds that someone in my family develops influenza A (H1N1) the week we've been vaccinated? I do not know but it happened. My little Elodie 6 years old started having symptoms the same day that we have been vaccinated. The whole family was vaccinated at home because of my health status. We were very pleased to receive this service. But after three days of intense fever, Mom went with Elodie to the Lakeshore hospital emergency where Grandma works. In a snap, they diagnosed Élodie with strep throat. They still proceeded to test for influenza A (H1N1). In the evening we received a call, the test is positive for influenza. Is it H1N1, we'll know later. Friday evening, another call IT IS H1N1. Emergency procedures are put in place, everyone wears a mask. Marie-Josée disinfected the entire master bedroom and adjoining bathroom so that I can be in quarantine. No contact with Elodie, or even the boys. Marie-Josée brings me my food with gloves and a mask. She is the only one to come in and out of our room. I talk to my children from a distance. All this affects Jordan quite a bit, he saw the news of the boy who died and is totally stressed.


I try to tell them to take this as an adventure. We must be diligent and keep our masks on and wash our hands more often than not. Given the period of contagion, we must keep this protocol until Tuesday at least, unless another child or Marie-Josee develops symptoms. Currently Jordan is a little bit tired but he does not seem to have the flu ... yet.

I started on Tamiflu for prevention and I remain isolated, I am not taking chances.

I will keep you posted.
 
Santé!

October 23rd, 1965 -

It's my birthday. No this is not the beginning of my epithet. I am 44 years old today. 15 months post diagnosis and 4 ½ months after surgery.


The situation is stable. The markers are 9.7 (4.4, 9.5, 8 and 9.7). The scan does not show anything significant according to my hematologist. By pushing a little, he explains that inflammation is visible around the stomach in the region of the anastomosis, but it's nothing unexpected considering what has happened in my abdomen in June . As for cancer nothing is visible, which is a good sign. We will continue the hunt to catch it as it appears.

This is my third treatment with the addition of irinotecan. After 48 hours it goes well ... it is OK. I will not deny that this combination weakens me more. I am really lying down for 48 hours not eating much. After I gradually introduce food according to my hunger. This morning toast with peanut butter with green tea. At noon a mini salad: boiled egg, cherry tomato, feta cheese with a dressing made of olive oil, turmeric, black pepper, balsamic vinegar small green onions (scallions).

Tonight at 20:30, a dish of vegetable couscous with red cabbage salad, half a pita with garlic sauce, washed down with fruit juice.

I'll get a final green tea in front of the fireplace where Jordan started a fire and then take drugs just to sleep until tomorrow.

Good Health!