It will be for...

We got a call from the hospital this morning at 8:15. Dr M who is the doctor contacted by G, the scheduling nurse, decided that treatment should be delayed to next week. Marie-Josee challenged the decision by calling my coordinating nurse to see if she could get in touch with Dr. L and try to reverse the decision. She explained that a week does not affect the outcome of treatment. The danger with giving chemo with such a low level of white blood cells is too great to proceed this week.

For sure this was a disappointment for a short time this morning. For me it was a sign of failure ... for 15 minutes. After that, well, I looked for the positives in this situation.

If my white blood cells are so affected by chemo, imagine cancer cells. Especially since they don't receive any help compare to my white blood cells(Neupogen the super hero to the rescue).

I can enjoy a full week with plenty of energy while I usually have only 4 - 5 days before resuming chemo and drop quite a bit. I will be able to complete a lot of work for the fledgling company, Vita Ethica Laboratories. I will also work to boost my immune system: exercise, nutrition, sleep.

STOP!
Wait a minute. The phone is ringing. It's my coordinating nurse. She made the effort to contact Dr. L and discuss the situation. She told him that we are insistant. Dr. L accepts a compromise, I must return to the hospital to redo a blood test and we will advise according to the results. I got dressed and we left for the hospital. I got there around 13:00. The advantage to do this in the afternoon is that there is nobody. The needle is in and in 30 seconds they have a new blood sample to analyze. Now the wait starts. G promises to call me on my cell phone as soon as the results come out.

In the meantime, I went for lunch and run some errands. I am at Ernest trying on some trousers (I went from 38 to 34 since July) when my cell phone rings.
-Yes hello!
-Mr Raymond it's G in hematology.
-Yes ...
-You're at 1.8.
-YES !!!!!
-You know it's very rare that ... in fact, you are an exception Mr Raymond.
-G this will not be the last time I will be an exception, believe me.
-Then would 10 o'clock tomorrow suit you.
-It 's perfect, thank you and see you tomorrow.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I will receive my chemo tomorrow with a day's delay, not a week.

Effective... or not?

I received a call from the hospital around 16:30. The lady tells me that the blood test done this morning indicates a level of white blood cells of 1.4. Remember that 1.5 is the lower limit under which chemo is usually delayed for a week. Well, she did not cancel tomorrow's chemo yet because only a doctor can take the decision and she could not find one at this time. So I go to bed tonight not knowing if tomorrow I get my treatment. I can tell you that this call was like a speed bump on the road. You drive a bit too fast, you don't see the speed bump and bang! You hit your head. The call was a bit like the analogy of the "speed bump". I was temporarily stunned, disoriented ... I had the blues.

My first reaction was not to go to judo. I felt like letting myself absorb in self-pity, not so much in the mood to take care of young "judokas". I did not have the energy to tell the world "things are going well" with a big smile but neither did I want to explain the details of that call.

My second reaction was to get my biology and pharmacology books out to see what I have not done or what I could do to boost my white blood cells. 20 minutes of reading and I did not learn much. The immune system is a complex subject.

My third reaction was: "this 200$ a dose sh*&%t is not working."

Finally, I started to breathe through the nose and I started to think things through. Since the beginnning blood test are done for the specific purpose of detecting these predictable low levels. Ultimately the question is not WILL I get under 1.5 but rather WHEN will I be below this threshold. If the result is to delay by one week my treatment, it is not the end of the world, just a little bit demoralizing.
Understand that since my appointment with Dr. L, my hematologist, where he said "here's the plan", my path has been positive all the way.
Let me explain:
-I had to be in a good enough shape to start chemotherapy quickly: check
-I had to tolerate the poisons they give me to get rid of cancer: check
-I also had to tolerate Avastin: check
-I have impressed many people including the president of the association by my apparent good shape: check
-Even at 1.5-the doc prescribed the chemo since my case was good: check
-That same day the cancer markers trend gives renewed hope: check

Only good news ... Today is not such a bad news after all. It's just that I was flying high with all my good news so this bad news came as a shock. It felt like right after a big rush of adrenaline. You don't come down at normal level, you crash.

The Neupogen may not be effective? Or it is very effective and thanks to it my level is at 1.4 when it could have been much lower. I will propably never know the true answer but by now you're starting to know me, if there is a positive angle to a story (and there's always one) that's the version I'm sticking to. So thank God I took Neupogen.

In addition, my last chemo was a Wednesday and this one is on a Tuesday, one day short for my white blood cell production. I am sure that if we took another blood sample tomorrow I'd hit 1.5.

Watch the blog closely tomorrow to see if I received the treatment or not. .

Ciao!

Neupogen, do you know what it is?

I did not know before it was prescribed to me. It is a product that boosts the production of white blood cells.

By the way...

A quick reminder that white blood cells are like the policemen/garbagemen of the
human body. They are one of the three main cells of the human blood (with red
blood cells and platelets) that doctors monitor when they ask for a blood test.
They're the ones that fight infection. Chemotherapy kills bad cells (cancer) and
good cells (White blood cells are destroyed unfortunately too). Naturally, our
body produces new cells continuously but with the chemotherapy sometimes the
production of new white blood cells does not compensate for their destruction.
The decrease in the level of white blood cells is therefore normal in this
context but we must still watch it because when it gets too low the risk of
serious infection increases. It is delicate balance between avoiding death by
cancer without causing death by infection. When we speak of infection, we talk
about something trivial to the normal homosapiens. A flu, a cold or pneumonia
does not cause serious problems for people with a normal level of white blood
cells but for people like me it could be fatal. The instruction that I have is
that if I develop a fever of 38.1 °, I have to rush to the hospital .

Let's return to Neupogen. This product has been prescribed by the hematologist whom I met before my fourth treatment. On that day the blood test showed a level of white blood cells of 1.5 which is low (that is 1.5 X 10 ^ 9 I believe). We had been warned that treatment could be delayed to allow more time for the system to produce more white blood cells. But the hematologist on duty, after a review of my file and observing my young athletic body, decided to go through with the treatment while giving me a boost so that my white blood cells factory (bone marrow) would work "overtime".

Neupogen must be refrigerated. Getting the drug from the pharmacy was a little funny because the hospital pharmacist had provided us with a bag with an icepack on the inside. It was very important not to allow the product to warm up in transport between my local pharmacy and our house. I must mention that this product is sold just shy of to $ 200 a dose. I was prescribed 5 doses now and 5 doses after my next chemo. That's some serious cash. Fortunately, Marie-Josee is insured and the product is reimbursed to a certain level.

What you also need to know about this product is that it must be administered by subcutaneous injection, yes yes a needle in my skin. The first dose had to be given by a nurse from the CLSC(local health services) in case of an allergic reaction... and to train Marie-Josée. Yes sir, my wife turned into a nurse for the love of her sweetheart.

She admitted that the first few times she had to stick the needle into my arm, her head was spinning and was afraid of passing out.

But not at all she did it like a pro and she conquered her fear. Marie-Josee also thanks her aunt Johanne, a nurse, for her reassuring presence during the first injection. The only side effect I felt, and for which I was warned, is bone pain in my lower back. For a while I had the impression of having the heart in the lower back. The pain was throbing at the same pace as my heartbeat. Tomorrow I will see if the product is effective because I'm going to the hospital for my blood test pre-chemo # 5.

Good night!

It's amazing...

A small note just like that because today I was chatting with Isabelle and Sylvain, our neighbors, they told me they gave the address of the blog to a friend. This friend told Isabelle that the texts she reads on the blog motivate and inspire her. I was fascinated by this story and thinking about it made me realise there are other stories like this one. My father-in-law did the same with his boss and some colleagues. So I now have people from Kuwait who read the English version of the blog. I received a message from an American childhood friend, David Gerwatowski, who was told of the blog by his mother who had been told by my brother Omer. It was then that I decided to translate the blog because I realized that several people showed an interest in reading the blog but couldn't do so in French.
There is also Sister Louise, who has taught Marie-Josee and her friends at Ste-Marcelline, which read the blog from Italy. She was told about it by our friend Andrée. Christine, who also lives in Italy, visits the blog. Several friends in Ontario come take a peek, including Vince, who has had a major impact on my career in pharmaceuticals. This morning came a comment from the Alarie family. This family was without a doubt an important part of our family life on Ile Bizard. Ms. Alarie was the best friend of my mother, Mr. Alarie was the best hockey coach I had. Robert was my best friend and Gilbert was Jocelyn. Isabelle, the youngest of the family wrote the commentary. Not to mention my sister-in-law Sandrine, born in France:-), which communicated the blog's adress to her family and friends in France, I therefore have readers there too.It is a fascinating web that is woven from the blog.

I am amazed because I never imagined that my blog would be such a communication tool and a therapy at the same time. What I want to tell you is that I am very touched by everyone's reaction. To know that you think of sharing with others what I write here is deeply moving. It is also very therapeutic because if for a moment, and I say "moment", I doubt or worry, I read the comments and messages to get back in the saddle. Your support is an incredible source of energy.
All of you tell me not to quit, I in turn ask you, dont't quit reading.

Élodie, Jordan and Mom are running

I have not yet figured out how to upload quality video so sorry if it's unclear. The music chosen is part of Mom's running selection.

Running, it's a family affair

Running is contagious. Elodie our 5 year old daughter had already started to emulate her mother this spring. She trained with her (see video) and participated in a 1 km race in Ste-Therese. She finished third in the girls 5-6 year old category with a time of 7:05 (on sportstats.ca look for Élodie Raymond). Today, after a few training sessions with Mom, Jordan joined the family group of runners. The three participated in the 1 km race in St-Jerome. Jordan and Elodie did this like champions. Jordan ran his kilometer in 5:01 and Élodie in 5:50. With the Mom's Garmin watch we know that Élodie reached a top speed of 13 km/h and ran on average at 9.8 km/h. For a 5 year old girl it is impressive. The reason for her speed is that she wanted to catch up with her brother, who ran in front of her. It was a beautiful day for such an activity. You can watch a small video of the race in my next blog. This race was sponsored by Jacqueline Gareau (9 times marathon winner in her career). We said hello to her before leaving the site of the race because she had noticed Élodie's participation medal around her neck.

Congratulations to the Raymond-Lafrance group of runner!

Courage

I wanted to speak about courage because I received some messages congratulating me for mine.

But what is courage?
Eight words define the moral code of Judo as edicted by its founder Jigoro Kano, courage is one. The definition given in this moral code is: Courage is doing what is right. In the french Larousse dictionary ( that I losely translate here) it defines courage as strength of character, firmness when facing danger, suffering or any difficult situation.
Seen from this angle am I brave? Maybe.
On the other hand, to honor my parents, I don't know any other way to react to situations like this. They gave me the best possible example of courage so I don't have much merit. Especially because, as I said in another blog, I have an extraordinary support network. I have only one thing left to tackle it's to beat the cancer. Everything else my wife, my in-laws, my family and my friends are taking care of it.
The subject of courage was also inspired by a video that three of my friends at Pfizer have sent me. Pfizer has established a website called http://www.morethanmedication.ca/en/home/ where you can see the video in question "Graffiti". Once you have you watched it you are invited to send an invitation to someone in exchange Pfizer will make a $ 5 donation to the Foundation for the Starlight Children. At my last glance, they were at $ 16,145. So I encourage you to watch it and send it to someone who inspires you courage.

Sometimes I am a little bit more serious but I am still smiling ...

Chemo #4...some news

Hi everyone,
Today was a pivotal day. Before I could receive my chemo I had to meet an hematologist to assess the situation and adjust if necessary. Well, it is certain that three chemo treatments is nothing to write home about but ... You need to understand that this is 6 weeks since I started chemo, or 42 days. If you calculate since the operation I am approaching two months, 60 days that I know about my cancer and that my mind (mon mental) began the fight. During all this time the battle is all in my head in the sense that I do not see my opponent. In judo in randori or shiai (combat or competition) you can visually assess your impact on the other combatant. You can see if he is weakening, if he still has tricks up its sleeves to surprise you. You can touch and feel its strength or its weakness.
With cancer, for the past two months, I lead a blind fight (not sure about this expression). It's OK I wanted it like that as I explained in the blog on the book by Lance. It remains that at some point you become a little curious. You want to know if you're on the right track. In my case, there are two main ways to verify that.

Please note that what follows are statements based on my understanding and I can be way out in left field, but I'm very open-minded and if anyone wants to correct my assertions they are welcome.

The best way is the abdominal scan. My first one was made on July 21st. Doctors believe that doing another scan before the three months mark is not representative. So my next scan will be between the 10th and 20th of October. A small wait again.
The second way is the calculation of tumor markers. Several different markers are used according to the cancer cause. In my case they seem to follow the evolution of CA-125 markers and CEA. Ca-125 is Cancer Antigen 125 and CEA is Carcinoembryonic Antigen. The presence of these markers and their level is a complex area but if I symplify it, we can say that hematologists look for trends. Decrease, stability, increase: guess which are positive? Too easy would my daughter Elodie, a decrease and / or stability in the trend are positive elements. Before giving you my results, I want to be clear that positive results do not mean a cure, it simply indicates that we are on the right track.
My levels of CA-125 went from 65in June to 23.2 today. According to the doc the current level is in the normal rangen (even for people without cancer).
My level of CEA is stable, 12.9 in June to 13 today.
Conclusion the trend is positive.
I think I have presented these results sensibly and with a good control of my emotions. Let me now present them you as a hyper positive salesman. My level of CA-125 has decreased by 64% in two months. A significant change since this marker now shows no difference between me and a person without cancer. This is an excellent result in my assessment, don't you think? The CEA is a capricious marker which can go up and down between two cycles of chemotherapy. Doctors are wary of the interpretation that can be done with it, but there seems to be a consensus that the stable trend is definitely a good sign. Combine these results to two other elements. Scatologicaly speaking, my stools are larger in diameter than ever. Personal Interpretation and visualization, my tumors are regressing (to be confirmed in October).
The president of the association of colorectal cancer of Canada, Mr. Barry Stein, which I finally met in person yesterday evening at a meeting of a support group made the following comment: "You look great Martin, as a matter of fact you look damn good. "
Barry was diagnosed at age 40 with colon cancer. This was 14 years ago. In the last 6 years they have detected no signs of recurrence. He is my inspiration. It is totally committed to the fight against colorectal cancer and has seen many people suffering from cancer. having him tell me I look great was a total morale booster. Add to this the results this morning and you can believe that, despite some fatigue thanks to the chemo, my morale is # 1.
My wife said in the support group yesterday that I had a the moral of a bull (loosely translated), it made me smile and I really liked it. And don't forget that all your messages of encouragement and your comments on the type of relationship that each one of you has with me are very important in maintaining my morale. You're part of my team.
So this evening when reading this blog, smile, things are going well.

Congratulations Jocelyn!

I want to congratulate my brother Jocelyn who went for his colonoscopy yesterday. It was not in vain because they found a small polyp that they took out instantly. For Jocelyn it is the third polyp that he has removed. The other two were there about 4-5 years ago. If you do not know about polyps they are not cancerous tumors and once removed there's nothing more to be done. But polyps, which are not removed can become cancerous over a period of 3 to 5 years. So polyps are usually benign, but they must be removed because their potential for malignancy is high in the medium to long term.

English Version

As I was mentioning it on the french version of my blog... here it is. I received several messages from English-speaking friends who tell me they have received news of my health and the address of my blog. They tell me that even if they can not understand what I wrote they feel that I lead the fight in a positive way. To leave no one behind I decided to translate my blog. So those who prefer to read my text in English can go to the address: martinraymond-eng.blogspot.com. Perhaps you also know someone with whom you want to share reflections of my blog but that person speaks only English. I translate the blog with Google translation. It works quite well. I only have to correct the inevitable mistakes made in a litteral translation (eg Lâche pas MJ becomes coward not MJ when it should say don't quit MJ). I have to forego some of my French humour because it does not translate well. It would require that I redo the text directly in English. The important thing is that my English friends can have all of the messages that I write on the french version. You will, I hope, forgive my gramatical errors and french syntax.

Until next time

Bravo Marie-Josée!

1:03:06. An hour three minutes and 6 seconds. Here is her official time based on the chip. It's an excellent result with a knee injury. That's 4 seconds faster than the 10 km in Ottawa in May. She is proud of herself and I am proud of her. She told me that this race brought her more satisfaction than Ottawa because her motivation was different. This time she ran for me. Also the finish line is inside the Olympic Stadium, it's quite a feeling. Especially as MCs were naming as many people as possible upon their arrival and we heard the name "Marie-Josee Lafrance" echo in the stadium. Of the women who ran the 10K, my Love finished 475 (of 829) and 53rd in her age category (of 96 women aged 40-44). In mentioning these stats, I feel like talking about the world of running for a second. The logistics behind these events is incredible. It is a sport that demonstrates that they are used to organize events with thousands of participants. The company Sportstats is present almost everywhere, even in small events as the race in St- Therese in the spring. It provides chips that you attach to your running shoes. These chips are detected (read) at the start and finish lines. That's how they get the running time for each runner, accurate and fast. 10 minutes after the race all the times are displayed on sheets at the site of the race and simultaneously on the website of the company (sportstats.ca). Go take a look, you can search by athlete or race. Search for Marie-Josee Lafrance or for any member of Yves family (Michelle, Stéphane, Patrick, Julie, Christine or Danielle). You'll find the list of races for everyone with the rest of their individual statistics (time, placement by category or general). It blows me away. If judo was 10% as effective as this during competitions, the sport would be transformed logistics wise.
Back to Marie-Josee's race, I would like to send a thank you to one of her coworker: Maja. This woman is extraordinarily generous. Already in May, she had demonstrated it by running with Josee in Ottawa. She is a runner, yes, but she had not plan to run in Ottawa. She did it because Josée was doing it and it was her first race. This weekend she was already committed to participate in another race, the Terry Fox event on Mont-Royal. But she still made the effort to support Josée, she was standing between kilometer 6 and 7 of the course. A place that Josée had indicated as strategic for her because of a tiring "faux plat" and for a psychological boost at three-quarters of the race done. There were very few spectators but Maja was there and Josée saw her and heard her shouting "looking good MJ". Meanwhile Maja and I were communicating through MJ's blackberry by messenger. She wrote: I saw her, she looks good. That reassured me and confirmed that I had to waste no time if I wanted to be present at the finish line at the right time.

Thank you Maja !
Bravo Marie-Josée!

10 km - Tomorrow

It is tomorrow that Marie-Josee runs the 10 km during the Montreal Marathon day. Given the delay in her preparation, she settled on running the 10K when she initially wanted to make the half-marathon (21 km). She injured her knee this week but she will run anyway. She says that her suffering is nothing next to mine. I am touched by her gesture. What she does not understand though is that I don't suffer at all. I have a good drug pusher of morphine derivative from whom I get my stock. Perhaps I don't feel a buzz but I am pain free 98% of the time. I try to be funny because I don't really know what to say to my wife who gives me her support in every way possible including this one and I am concerned for the health of her knee. I have already mentioned it, my wife is driven ... so what am I to do except to support her and carry a nice big bag of ice to put on her knee right after she crosses the finish line. ;-)

Good luck my love!

Otagai ni Rei

I was looking for a way to intrigue everyone with my title. I hope that I was successful. Otagai ni Rei is the call to salute partners in training in some martial arts. This call is delivered at the beginning and end of sessions following the two other calls to salute: Shomen ni Rei and Sensei ni Rei. If I simplify, this is a way to greet everyone with respect. Why did I start like that? Because tonight I had enough energy to endorse my judogi and act as a Sensei aid, like a teacher-aid. I have to say that we have a phenomenal start this season. We have at least 30 enrolled in the less than 13 years old, while last season we were about 15. 30 to one ratio in any discipline is huge so I wanted to support Luc Sensei as much as I could. Finally it went well and Luc would have been OK without me since Jacques was there, Jasmin, his son, helped him and also others like Richard and Jesse. Let's say that I did help a little, but the main thing is that I enjoyed the evening because I love to share my passion for judo with young people. By the way if anyone reading this is interested in judo, don't be shy, call me or come see us at 48 St-Louis in Ste-Therese (above the arena) every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 18:30 on.
Sayonara!

Screening for cancer

You know, once you have cancer you wish you could have avoided it. If only I had known ... you say to yourself. In most cancers there are ways of detecting early signs and my experience is an example that too young doesn't exist with cancer.

I say... if I had known? What about you? Do you have cancer?

If not, when was your last test? In the case of my family, at the hospital they all said they had understood the message and had or were going to make an appointment? Is this done? Pierre when is your colonoscopy? Omer, Louis, Yves? Lucie? Lilianne and Jocelyn, I know that you were already aware but you should not delay much more. I am pushing hard on my family because one of the questions from doctors concerns family history. Well now my 5 brothers and 2 sisters must respond that colorectal cancer runs in the family. My own children will be monitored very early (in their early twenties). For other people who are not my immediate family, a simple test can save you so many concerns and offer a prognosis so much easier to handle. So what are you waiting for? Many of you wrote to me saying that I had, in one way or another, a positive influence in your lives. I'm happy. I would like my next influence on you to be a positive action regarding early detection of cancer.
Act now!

Chemo... #3

We are Thursday morning. A day after the third chemo that I received Wednesday instead of Tuesday, back to school day. Marie-Josée and I wanted to be present for this special day since our last child, Elodie, started kindergarten. The view of our three children walking to school with their backpacks, the two big brothers explaining to their sister the school routine, the summer sun and a mix of emotions of pride and nostalgia. Nostalgia because the realization that we have no more baby hits you in the face on back to school day. I admit that this day also brought me an even greater resolution to fight for my survival. We may not have babies anymorebut, 5, 9 and 11 years do not make them adults yet. I have so much to share with my children that there is only one solution.
Back to chemo # 3 until now it is a far cry from # 2. I slept well and this morning, except for the fact that I did not attend the morning routine, I'm in pretty good shape (all things being relative). Unlike two weeks ago, I have enough energy to write on my blog and do one or two follow up on the business plan.
I could not explain why there are differences in the reaction of my body after each chemo but when I think about it there may be some elements or actions which have been different.
First, there is my diet. For two weeks I'm seriously working at integrating the research of Dr. Beliveau. So I drink three cups of Japanese green tea per day, I eat a meal with turmeric per day, I swallow quantities of garlic and / or onion like never accompanied by a series of selected vegetables (brussels sprouts, leeks, asparagus etc.).. All this on top of my Ensure and Boost drinks to ensure a good amount of protein, vitamins and minerals. I am still limited because I can not take too many fibers. My tumor on the right, that the surgeon estimates at 25 cm long (almost a foot), is largely blocking my ascending colon. It is important for me to avoid an obstruction, thus the limitations on residual fibers.
Also, there was a good boost to my morale when I attended the official opening of the season at the Judo club youngest class. The group that I had the responsibility last season. It was not much but it gave me an incredible feeling inside. Just putting my judogi on, participate in the opening protocol (greetings) and have the opportunity to address the kids to explain that I can not give all the courses this year was a beautiful time for me. My wife has even noticed that during the Mokso (meditation at the beginning) the sun entered the dojo and gave the illusion of enligthning and wrapping its divine light around me.

Finally, have these elements been a factor or not in my reaction to chemo # 3 we will never know but as they say, perception is reality so ...

Good day!