Jordan came to us yesterday with an idea.
He said: "I want to do something but I'm too young."
I replied: "what do you want to do."
-I want to write a book about cancer he answered.
-You gotta do a lot of research to write a book about cancer.
-Well, It 's not really about cancer, but about the emotions of cancer.
Wow! I said to myself.
-So you're not too young, you can start right away. Use your little diary to record your thoughts.
He went to get his small notebook. He wrote the title: The Emotions of Cancer.
He then wrote his first sentence: I think the hardest part is learning that the person you love has cancer.
I can tell you that I had water in my eyes. At the same time I had a feeling of pride to see my 9 year old boy able to express his emotions and ready to put it in writing.
You say what you want but it's not easy to cope with our emotions and to identify them precisely. When you are capable to do it at this age we are well off in life.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Report on ... a Big Day
I know many of you think there is a bit too much time between blogs, especially with the last blog “Tomorrow…A Big Day” left open. Sorry.
Our meeting with Dr. L was not quite as we planned. Let's say we were, Marie-Josée and I, a little too enthusiastic and we felt he wanted to bring us back on earth. We asked very specific questions about my possible surgery: when how the decision will be taken, what are the triggers, How much the masses have to be reduced, etc.).
All these questions with a tone and an attitude of certainty in the advent of this surgery. Dr L responded with terms and particular language that had the effect of a cold shower. I felt that he thought we were a little too optimistic, that we may have had our expectations too high, and he wanted us to refocus. He mentioned that the treatment was progressing well but it is difficult to predict the response of cancer, things can change quickly. He mentioned that the main objective for him was to bring me into remission and keep me there as long as possible, suggesting along the way that the recovery was not possible. He also mentioned but without much conviction that the decision to proceed with surgery would be taken by a team of specialized surgeons, not by him. Needless to say the rest of the appointment found Marie-Josée and I pretty depressed.
However, he didn’t say anything that we did not know already. It's just that we had started to hope that things would move quickly, like having an operation in the spring, but the doc brought us back to another reality.
In these circumstances you will understand that we took a few days to reflect before we were back in the game. In the end, the doctor did his job, he tried to manage our expectations based on statistics and/or on his experience. I plan not to correspond to neither. I have said from the beginning, I have no issue being being an exceptional case and I will be in all phases of my recovery. I even told the doctor before leaving the appointment, "one day you'll use my case in your conference as anecdotal potential for Avastin.
Furthermore there was not only negative news, that day we also learned that my CEA were down to 6.4. Getting close to 5, check out the results next month.
In January, at the same time as my markers, I will have my third abdominal scan. I expect to surprise Dr L with an unexpected reduction of my large tumours.
If you were wondering about the chemotherapy of December 16, I received it as expected with a double dose of Benadryl (50 mg intravenously). I have not had an allergic reaction which is good. I had quite a buzz though. I would say that I now know why I have never taken drugs in my life (except alcohol)… because I hate the feeling. This feeling of my head in the clouds with a body that weighs a ton and sleeping without sleeping because you hear everything going on around you. I take it because it allows me to continue my chemo treatments according to plan but it is not something I would do for fun, no sir.
Until next time!
Our meeting with Dr. L was not quite as we planned. Let's say we were, Marie-Josée and I, a little too enthusiastic and we felt he wanted to bring us back on earth. We asked very specific questions about my possible surgery: when how the decision will be taken, what are the triggers, How much the masses have to be reduced, etc.).
All these questions with a tone and an attitude of certainty in the advent of this surgery. Dr L responded with terms and particular language that had the effect of a cold shower. I felt that he thought we were a little too optimistic, that we may have had our expectations too high, and he wanted us to refocus. He mentioned that the treatment was progressing well but it is difficult to predict the response of cancer, things can change quickly. He mentioned that the main objective for him was to bring me into remission and keep me there as long as possible, suggesting along the way that the recovery was not possible. He also mentioned but without much conviction that the decision to proceed with surgery would be taken by a team of specialized surgeons, not by him. Needless to say the rest of the appointment found Marie-Josée and I pretty depressed.
However, he didn’t say anything that we did not know already. It's just that we had started to hope that things would move quickly, like having an operation in the spring, but the doc brought us back to another reality.
In these circumstances you will understand that we took a few days to reflect before we were back in the game. In the end, the doctor did his job, he tried to manage our expectations based on statistics and/or on his experience. I plan not to correspond to neither. I have said from the beginning, I have no issue being being an exceptional case and I will be in all phases of my recovery. I even told the doctor before leaving the appointment, "one day you'll use my case in your conference as anecdotal potential for Avastin.
Furthermore there was not only negative news, that day we also learned that my CEA were down to 6.4. Getting close to 5, check out the results next month.
In January, at the same time as my markers, I will have my third abdominal scan. I expect to surprise Dr L with an unexpected reduction of my large tumours.
If you were wondering about the chemotherapy of December 16, I received it as expected with a double dose of Benadryl (50 mg intravenously). I have not had an allergic reaction which is good. I had quite a buzz though. I would say that I now know why I have never taken drugs in my life (except alcohol)… because I hate the feeling. This feeling of my head in the clouds with a body that weighs a ton and sleeping without sleeping because you hear everything going on around you. I take it because it allows me to continue my chemo treatments according to plan but it is not something I would do for fun, no sir.
Until next time!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Happy Holidays
Allow me to use my blog to wish everyone a happy holiday season and an excellent year to come. I hope everyone will get what they wish for in 2009 but in my mind nothing is more important than health. As someone once said: when you got health, everything else is gravy? OK, I made this one up myself ;-) but don't you agree?
Think about it, when you are healthy what problem is worth thinking about?
Merry Christmas and happy new year!
Think about it, when you are healthy what problem is worth thinking about?
Merry Christmas and happy new year!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tomorrow... a Big Day
Tomorrow, Tuesday 16 December
What a coincidence that I have an appointment with Dr. L, my hematologist, the day of the birth of my mother. The meeting is important because I will learn how the doctor wants to manage my allergies. I also have questions to ask on what is coming: 2 treatments according to the original plan but how many more will I receive? How will he assess when to refer me in surgery or in other words what kind of reduction of the tumors does he hope for? What will be the date of my next scan? Can I have a break from chemo for a week during the holidays without jeopardizing the progress achieved? What is the level of my markers, yes! It's been a month.
I am sure that my mother will be there behind my shoulder ... What I am saying? She will be right in his face prepared to give him a slap behind the head if he does not give me the right answer. I can hear her say: You are going to heal my son or else my name is not Raymond.
Note: for those who read this blog without knowing all the details about my family, my mother passed away, I refer to her presence in spirit of course.
Yes ... Tomorrow is a big day.
On another topic, our boys competed over the weekend. They each collected a silver medal. They demionstrated beautiful judo as their father loves it. Flexible, diverse, respectful but with a nice determination without misplaced aggressiveness . In both cases it was close to be a gold medal but Judo is a sport where quick turnaround happens. Moreover Tristan has learned the lesson that "it's not over until it's not over". He was losing his second to last fight when with 10 seconds left he counter attacked and scored the decisive point: Ippon. He was proud to have persevered and thus enabling him to participate in the final. Jordan has shown much progress in his judo groundwork. He has won two fights with his follow through standing-to-ground techniques. Friday will be the last judo session before Christmas. Luc invited parents to step on the tatami mats. Guess what? Marie-Josée has decided that she would participate. In three years it is the first time she agreed to wear the judogi and to battle on the mat with her sons. I am sure she will be pretty sexy in my new competition judogis. I'm will be not quite in shape to join them (three days post chemotherapy), but if I have enough energy at all I will not miss the opportunity to tease my wife on the mat. Of course Élodie dress up and so it will be a real family affair.
Finally, our outdoor Christmas decorations are installed, tree included. It was very cute to see Jordan and Élodie collaborate on the little Christmas village. It began with an argument but finished with a smile. Élodie is at the age when the wonder of Christmas is at its maximum. Hers eyes light up when she talks about the coming of Santa Claus. Jordan, for the first time, participates in the enchantment of her sister by explaining the relevant details as to why we leave biscuits, milk and carrots for Santa Claus and his reindeer and especially why you have to well sleep... because if you are not sleeping Santa Claus does not come ;-) You all know, no? I have to go to bed because tomorrow the appointment is at 8:10, it's early with the traffic on the highway 15.
Good night!
What a coincidence that I have an appointment with Dr. L, my hematologist, the day of the birth of my mother. The meeting is important because I will learn how the doctor wants to manage my allergies. I also have questions to ask on what is coming: 2 treatments according to the original plan but how many more will I receive? How will he assess when to refer me in surgery or in other words what kind of reduction of the tumors does he hope for? What will be the date of my next scan? Can I have a break from chemo for a week during the holidays without jeopardizing the progress achieved? What is the level of my markers, yes! It's been a month.
I am sure that my mother will be there behind my shoulder ... What I am saying? She will be right in his face prepared to give him a slap behind the head if he does not give me the right answer. I can hear her say: You are going to heal my son or else my name is not Raymond.
Note: for those who read this blog without knowing all the details about my family, my mother passed away, I refer to her presence in spirit of course.
Yes ... Tomorrow is a big day.
On another topic, our boys competed over the weekend. They each collected a silver medal. They demionstrated beautiful judo as their father loves it. Flexible, diverse, respectful but with a nice determination without misplaced aggressiveness . In both cases it was close to be a gold medal but Judo is a sport where quick turnaround happens. Moreover Tristan has learned the lesson that "it's not over until it's not over". He was losing his second to last fight when with 10 seconds left he counter attacked and scored the decisive point: Ippon. He was proud to have persevered and thus enabling him to participate in the final. Jordan has shown much progress in his judo groundwork. He has won two fights with his follow through standing-to-ground techniques. Friday will be the last judo session before Christmas. Luc invited parents to step on the tatami mats. Guess what? Marie-Josée has decided that she would participate. In three years it is the first time she agreed to wear the judogi and to battle on the mat with her sons. I am sure she will be pretty sexy in my new competition judogis. I'm will be not quite in shape to join them (three days post chemotherapy), but if I have enough energy at all I will not miss the opportunity to tease my wife on the mat. Of course Élodie dress up and so it will be a real family affair.
Finally, our outdoor Christmas decorations are installed, tree included. It was very cute to see Jordan and Élodie collaborate on the little Christmas village. It began with an argument but finished with a smile. Élodie is at the age when the wonder of Christmas is at its maximum. Hers eyes light up when she talks about the coming of Santa Claus. Jordan, for the first time, participates in the enchantment of her sister by explaining the relevant details as to why we leave biscuits, milk and carrots for Santa Claus and his reindeer and especially why you have to well sleep... because if you are not sleeping Santa Claus does not come ;-) You all know, no? I have to go to bed because tomorrow the appointment is at 8:10, it's early with the traffic on the highway 15.
Good night!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It's winter my friends!
I begin this blog by reassuring everyone on my psychological shape. My morale is excellent and no doubts haunts my mind. I hope that everyone feel reassured. I think some believe that my morale is low because of some circumstances in recent days. The past weekend I had invited my two younger brothers to come watch football in high definition on our big screen TV. The same day my step-sister Sandrine had the good idea to confirm that everything was well for the visit. Everything was fine except she told me on the telephone that the PITCHOUNETTE (Clara) had a cold. So I hesitated before taking a decision but I had to resign myself to postpone this visit. Sandrine was wondeful because she left me no doubt that she understood very well my position and that it was not a problem. The reason we have postponed this football afternoon is, as you all know, my immune system is affected by chemotherapy. For me getting a cold means an hospital visit. So as much as I wanted to hang out with my brothers I did not want to catch PITCHOUNETTE's cold. Furthermore if it was not me it could have been one of my children who could have caught this cold, which would have forced me to wear a mask at home for a while and avoid contact with my kids. I hear you say: "Yeah, but your children go to school, they can catch it anyway." Yes, but it is certainly easier to postpone a visit from family then to not send my children to school. We manage risks the best we can. Speaking of my immune system, I'll give you details on the reaction of my body. As I said I had an allergic reaction during the eighth treatment. In the ninth treatment they gave me Benadryl in prevention but I still, at the end of treatment, had an allergic reaction (less powerful than the first but still). This can be problematic or maybe not, we will know next week when we talk to Dr. L. He certainly has several options from which to choose. Discontinuation is not the only one and certainly not desirable. The other element that worries me a bit (I say a bit) is my bleeding nose. Since the eighth treatment I have nasal concerns. My nose is very dry and I get a good congestion during the night. The morning when I'm undisciplined and I blow my nose without preparation, I disturb my nasal walls (I bust a vein) and my nose begins to bleed quite heavily. OK, I have seen other people bleed more than that but for me it is very unusual. After the ninth treatment I began to bleed just because I contacted my abdomen to evacuate my bowels. In addition, compared to the post 8th, this time it took 6 days to calm down. The source of this problem can be multiple and even combined (home drier due to heating, Avastin, low numbers of platelets), but it is certainly something I will discuss with Dr L.
Change of topic, I shoveled the entry yesterday ... twice. The first time it was about 15:30, the children were back from school. They all helped me according to their capacity. Tristan really impressed me. He's only 11 years old but you can feel the teenager, the man growing in him. He showed great strength and determination in the removal of the snow. When Marie-Josee came home around 19:00, it was as if we had not done a thing. This time I decided to try to start the snowblower. Don't you worry I have not exerted any force, it is equipped with an electric starter. So a few strokes of thumb on the siphon, a few strokes of the thumb on the starter and it finally went Zoom Zoom. So I redid the full car path for a second time. I was very proud to have the strength to do it but like any good macho, I was keen on doing my favorite neighbor's entry before he was back from work. I couldn't finish before he arrived. I still helped him a bit since he opted to make his entry with his shovel. I was pleased to give him a hand with my old snowblower. I was so absorbed by the task that I lost sense of time and when I finally got back in my house, it was 22:00. The whole family was in bed.
It is not only the strength that I was glad to have to remove the snow, there is also the fact that I managed to dress in an adequate manner to prevent my fingers and face to sting ( side effect of the chemo). It gave me hope that I can go skiing and do other winter sports as far as I am well dressed. It is not that easy, you know, especially for the nose. It is a problem because I can not completely hide it without suffocating or creating a icy zone on the hood. Still, my combination of polar hood and fur hat with ears worked well last night.
Thank you for your continued readership and have a great day!
Change of topic, I shoveled the entry yesterday ... twice. The first time it was about 15:30, the children were back from school. They all helped me according to their capacity. Tristan really impressed me. He's only 11 years old but you can feel the teenager, the man growing in him. He showed great strength and determination in the removal of the snow. When Marie-Josee came home around 19:00, it was as if we had not done a thing. This time I decided to try to start the snowblower. Don't you worry I have not exerted any force, it is equipped with an electric starter. So a few strokes of thumb on the siphon, a few strokes of the thumb on the starter and it finally went Zoom Zoom. So I redid the full car path for a second time. I was very proud to have the strength to do it but like any good macho, I was keen on doing my favorite neighbor's entry before he was back from work. I couldn't finish before he arrived. I still helped him a bit since he opted to make his entry with his shovel. I was pleased to give him a hand with my old snowblower. I was so absorbed by the task that I lost sense of time and when I finally got back in my house, it was 22:00. The whole family was in bed.
It is not only the strength that I was glad to have to remove the snow, there is also the fact that I managed to dress in an adequate manner to prevent my fingers and face to sting ( side effect of the chemo). It gave me hope that I can go skiing and do other winter sports as far as I am well dressed. It is not that easy, you know, especially for the nose. It is a problem because I can not completely hide it without suffocating or creating a icy zone on the hood. Still, my combination of polar hood and fur hat with ears worked well last night.
Thank you for your continued readership and have a great day!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
New York
We left home at 7:30 Thursday morning. We arrived at the hotel around 14:30. Overall the trip was very pleasant and seem to go by quickly. I summarize the trip this way: we walked like crazy. So much so that Marie-Josee is considering the weekend as cross-training for her running regime.
We saw what we had planned. Elodie was amazed by the American Girl Place store. M & M and TOYS'R'US struck the minds of our three children. As far as meals go, we made a discovery that we recommend to all. The restaurant Becco is fantastic. Excellent Italian food in a family atmosphere for a price acceptable to downtown New York.
Anecdote: the maitre D at Becco wore a badge saying "Cancer Sucks". I pointed it to MJ and the guy told us that two years ago at age 40 he was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer with liver metastasis. He has since undergone 9 operations and finished chemo. He could not say more but we connected when I told him that I had the same thing. MJ found the coincidence striking. This restaurant had been referred to us by the hotel concierge.
MJ has managed to find tickets for the show "Lion King", quite a phenomenal show in the management of scenery and animal characters . The giraffes and the hyenas impressed me the most.
For those who are not friends with MJ on Facebook, here are photos of our trip. Click on the image to view the album.
We saw what we had planned. Elodie was amazed by the American Girl Place store. M & M and TOYS'R'US struck the minds of our three children. As far as meals go, we made a discovery that we recommend to all. The restaurant Becco is fantastic. Excellent Italian food in a family atmosphere for a price acceptable to downtown New York.
Anecdote: the maitre D at Becco wore a badge saying "Cancer Sucks". I pointed it to MJ and the guy told us that two years ago at age 40 he was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer with liver metastasis. He has since undergone 9 operations and finished chemo. He could not say more but we connected when I told him that I had the same thing. MJ found the coincidence striking. This restaurant had been referred to us by the hotel concierge.
MJ has managed to find tickets for the show "Lion King", quite a phenomenal show in the management of scenery and animal characters . The giraffes and the hyenas impressed me the most.
For those who are not friends with MJ on Facebook, here are photos of our trip. Click on the image to view the album.
 |
| New York |
Chemo... #9
Yes!
I am connected until tomorrow on my 9th chemo. Despite the Benadryl given in prophylaxis (to prevent), I still had a reaction towards the end of the infusion of Oxaliplatin. They injected a dose of Solu-cortef, to control the reaction without putting me to sleep like Benadryl. In my next chemo they will consult Dr. L. to know what to do. They could discontinue oxaliplatin, replace it with another product or use the alternate approach, which means treatment without OXA and treatment with. We'll see. Today fatigue is not so bad even if it is day 2 post-chemo. Perhaps tomorrow I will crash because the effect of Decadron stops.
Again we will see, one day at a time.
Read my next blog which I am writing at the moment on our trip to New York.
Good day to you all!
I am connected until tomorrow on my 9th chemo. Despite the Benadryl given in prophylaxis (to prevent), I still had a reaction towards the end of the infusion of Oxaliplatin. They injected a dose of Solu-cortef, to control the reaction without putting me to sleep like Benadryl. In my next chemo they will consult Dr. L. to know what to do. They could discontinue oxaliplatin, replace it with another product or use the alternate approach, which means treatment without OXA and treatment with. We'll see. Today fatigue is not so bad even if it is day 2 post-chemo. Perhaps tomorrow I will crash because the effect of Decadron stops.
Again we will see, one day at a time.
Read my next blog which I am writing at the moment on our trip to New York.
Good day to you all!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
8th chemo +4 days
Hi everyone!
I derogate from the list of topics mentioned in the previous blog because I wanted to tell the story of this chemo. As usual this chemo has its peculiarities. First, I had an allergic reaction during treatment. The nursing staff is accustomed to this but Marie-Josee found it quite impressive to see me red like a lobster with a nice swelling on the forehead. When you see this you start to ask yourself if you are going to stop tolerating the treatments. As you know chemo is "it" for me. If I was not be able to take it I would be pretty Fuc... Uh, stuck. So a small shot of Benadryl and the reaction was gone. Naturally I dosed off like it or not. The next time the Benadryl will come immediately before oxaliplatin.
Another particularity this time is that the tingling in the hands are very present. Much more than the last time when I concentrated my visualization exercizes on the reduction of this side effect.
The last story is about my markers. They had forgotten to measure them in my blood samples of Monday. So Tuesday before chemo, my nurse asked for two other samples of blood because the markers were due. The result did not come out before we left the hospital Tuesday so we called Friday for the results. The disclosure of these results must be made by the doctor, since he could not call us on Friday, we had to wait until Saturday. We had begun to worry a bit. Is he not calling because the results are not positive? Friday night when Marie-Josee raised the topic I told her: "Forget it, if it was important he would call, no news is good news". When he called Saturday he gave us the following results: CEA @ 7 and CA-125 @ 17. The latest measures were respectively 10.6 and 16. A level of 5 and less is considered normal for CEA and under 35 for the CA-125. I am at the door to have both markers in the normal range of the general population. We are very encouraged. What happened to my tumours? I do not know but I can tell you that I look forward to the month of January for my new images.
Have a great weekend!
I derogate from the list of topics mentioned in the previous blog because I wanted to tell the story of this chemo. As usual this chemo has its peculiarities. First, I had an allergic reaction during treatment. The nursing staff is accustomed to this but Marie-Josee found it quite impressive to see me red like a lobster with a nice swelling on the forehead. When you see this you start to ask yourself if you are going to stop tolerating the treatments. As you know chemo is "it" for me. If I was not be able to take it I would be pretty Fuc... Uh, stuck. So a small shot of Benadryl and the reaction was gone. Naturally I dosed off like it or not. The next time the Benadryl will come immediately before oxaliplatin.
Another particularity this time is that the tingling in the hands are very present. Much more than the last time when I concentrated my visualization exercizes on the reduction of this side effect.
The last story is about my markers. They had forgotten to measure them in my blood samples of Monday. So Tuesday before chemo, my nurse asked for two other samples of blood because the markers were due. The result did not come out before we left the hospital Tuesday so we called Friday for the results. The disclosure of these results must be made by the doctor, since he could not call us on Friday, we had to wait until Saturday. We had begun to worry a bit. Is he not calling because the results are not positive? Friday night when Marie-Josee raised the topic I told her: "Forget it, if it was important he would call, no news is good news". When he called Saturday he gave us the following results: CEA @ 7 and CA-125 @ 17. The latest measures were respectively 10.6 and 16. A level of 5 and less is considered normal for CEA and under 35 for the CA-125. I am at the door to have both markers in the normal range of the general population. We are very encouraged. What happened to my tumours? I do not know but I can tell you that I look forward to the month of January for my new images.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, November 17, 2008
3/4
3 / 4 of the first round of chemo. Tomorrow in fact, because that is when I get the 8th treatment. 8 of 12 treatments completed ... still a while to go. I admit that in recent weeks I have had some mental fatigue. It is as if I had just understood that I have to stick with the treatments for a while still. Foolish no? It's a bit why I have not written much lately. It is as if unconsciously I wanted to pretend that I do not have cancer. I went about my occupation without thinking of the hospital, the treatments etc. So I couldn't find things to say on the blog. Finally, the arrival of the next chemo brought me back to reality. I made a list of topics on which I will write in the days to come:
-Our dinner at the restaurant Trattoria Mundo
-My last conversation with my oncologist
-Visualization workshops
-I 've asked Marie-Josee to write the adventure of organizing my birthday
-Our next trip to New York (26 to 30 November)
-The 7 habits of Stephen Covey (it will come)
So don't let me down, I will continue to write even if a break from time to time is necessary. Have a great day!
-Our dinner at the restaurant Trattoria Mundo
-My last conversation with my oncologist
-Visualization workshops
-I 've asked Marie-Josee to write the adventure of organizing my birthday
-Our next trip to New York (26 to 30 November)
-The 7 habits of Stephen Covey (it will come)
So don't let me down, I will continue to write even if a break from time to time is necessary. Have a great day!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Video: African drums
Here it is finally.
Some of you let me know subtlely that you were impatient to see the video. It lasts about 7 minutes when the actual raw footage is about 30 minutes long. I had to pick and choose clips to show you. I hope you'll like it and don't forget to pumo up the volume.
Some of you let me know subtlely that you were impatient to see the video. It lasts about 7 minutes when the actual raw footage is about 30 minutes long. I had to pick and choose clips to show you. I hope you'll like it and don't forget to pumo up the volume.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
What a party!
Hello all,
I know some of you were beginning to ask questions. Is he sick or too tired to write? None of the above. This week I was in great shape and I have taken advantage of this energy to accomplish several tasks that had been delayed. There is also the fact that I wanted to accompany this blog with a video clip of my party celebration. Quite a party that my wife organized in secret. There were more than 100 persons. She worked for three weeks on the organization and and typical of Marie-Josée everything was carefully planned. The highlight of the evening was the opening performance by the group Drum Cafe with all the guests. This agency specializes in corporate events so it was unusual for them to perform at a private party. This session of percussion by all these people with the facilitators were quite an experience. These vibrations penetrate the body and re-energizes us. Play the video in the blog that will follow and you'll get an idea. Of course experiencing it live is much more sensational but just by listening I hope you'll get a chill.
I received a lot of gift which I sincerely thank all the contributors. The piano is already installed and Jordan and Elodie have spent quite some time playing. Jordan has talent and we are looking for a teacher that comes to our house. Elodie also has a good ear. Tristan is more concerned about his computer at this time then music. It will come.
I said it during the evening but I repeat it here for those who have not had the opportunity to be present: my wife is extraordinary. For three weeks she managed to invite 110 people, coordinate their arrival at the cultural center of Lorraine, order and pick up the buffet at different suppliers, plan the performance of Drum Cafe (build a crescendo beginning with my children on stage, then my brothers and sisters followed by my wife's family and all my friends). The emotions was high and tears were shed.
Thank you to my wife and all those who were present. You made me live the most beautiful birthday of my life.
Check out the video in the next blog,
I know some of you were beginning to ask questions. Is he sick or too tired to write? None of the above. This week I was in great shape and I have taken advantage of this energy to accomplish several tasks that had been delayed. There is also the fact that I wanted to accompany this blog with a video clip of my party celebration. Quite a party that my wife organized in secret. There were more than 100 persons. She worked for three weeks on the organization and and typical of Marie-Josée everything was carefully planned. The highlight of the evening was the opening performance by the group Drum Cafe with all the guests. This agency specializes in corporate events so it was unusual for them to perform at a private party. This session of percussion by all these people with the facilitators were quite an experience. These vibrations penetrate the body and re-energizes us. Play the video in the blog that will follow and you'll get an idea. Of course experiencing it live is much more sensational but just by listening I hope you'll get a chill.
I received a lot of gift which I sincerely thank all the contributors. The piano is already installed and Jordan and Elodie have spent quite some time playing. Jordan has talent and we are looking for a teacher that comes to our house. Elodie also has a good ear. Tristan is more concerned about his computer at this time then music. It will come.
I said it during the evening but I repeat it here for those who have not had the opportunity to be present: my wife is extraordinary. For three weeks she managed to invite 110 people, coordinate their arrival at the cultural center of Lorraine, order and pick up the buffet at different suppliers, plan the performance of Drum Cafe (build a crescendo beginning with my children on stage, then my brothers and sisters followed by my wife's family and all my friends). The emotions was high and tears were shed.
Thank you to my wife and all those who were present. You made me live the most beautiful birthday of my life.
Check out the video in the next blog,
Friday, October 24, 2008
My disease through my daughter's eyes
I can't help but publish this drawing from Elodie and the story around it, it's too cute.
This week, coming back from school Élodie shows me her drawing and tells me that these are electric wires in my belly. She said that it's my cancer because it is connected everywhere. I have to say that she listens to us a lot and often when we tell the story of my cancer we explain that surgeons could not remove my tumors because they are too large and they are connected everywhere (to the liver, to the stomach etc. ..). So for her, it's like her electrical wires. Cute No?
The other story I have to tell regarding Elodie and my cancer is that almost everyday she asks: Is it your chemo day today? She asks me because it is often the reason why I will not pick her up at school early and thus she must go to daycare. So when she "feels" like returning home right after school she asks the question. When I say no, the next question is: Can you play doll with me. You can be the dad, OK?
My children are a bundle of love everyday
Saturday, October 18, 2008
28
What is this number? You will never guess. It's the level of my neutrophils (white blood cells) Friday morning before my chemo. When G told me the number I reacted:
-What! 2.8 you mean.
-No, 28. With Neupogen and at your age, it can happen.
You should have seen my face, a mixture of disbelief and a nice smirk. In any case, they're is no hesitation now. This shows how much Doc L knows his business and how he is aggressive like I like it. So I'm connected to the chemo # 6. It will be a weekend in slow motion for me but at least I will be fit for my birthday.
Talk to you later!
-What! 2.8 you mean.
-No, 28. With Neupogen and at your age, it can happen.
You should have seen my face, a mixture of disbelief and a nice smirk. In any case, they're is no hesitation now. This shows how much Doc L knows his business and how he is aggressive like I like it. So I'm connected to the chemo # 6. It will be a weekend in slow motion for me but at least I will be fit for my birthday.
Talk to you later!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Latest news
We interrupt our programming to announce the results of the control scan and the latest results of my blood test. News are good. Indeed, Dr. L gave a "thumbs up" when he listened to the verbal report by the radiologist. In summary, lesions on the peritoneal wall are all gone. There is one lesion left on my liver while there were 2 or 3 in July. As for the large tumors there is no evidence of shrinkage yet, none the less my hematologist is very enthusiastic. He said that large tumours may take more time to respond but with what he heard from the radiologist he knows I'm on the right track. In addition, cancer markers level is continuing to reduce. The CA-125 went from 65 to 22 to 16 and CEA stable a month ago is now down to 10.6 (13 previously). Dr. L prescribed Neupogen again so that I can get my chemo this Friday (no reasons to wait next week he said).
I don't know what part of my healing process is more important but please don't stop what you do. If you pray or send me positive waves don't stop. On my side I will continue to eat according to the principles of Dr. Béliveau and pray, meditate and visualize.
Thank you for your support!
I don't know what part of my healing process is more important but please don't stop what you do. If you pray or send me positive waves don't stop. On my side I will continue to eat according to the principles of Dr. Béliveau and pray, meditate and visualize.
Thank you for your support!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Indian Summer
Today was a day full of energy from the sun shining and also because I am at day 10 post-chemotherapy. We had lunch anti cancer style. We had an egg over easy with turmeric and garlic in a grilled english muffin, mustard and mayonnaise. I accompanied it with fresh mini potatoes slightly fried in the pan and nice slices of italian tomatoes. Marie-Josee and I savored with this feast an infusion of Japanese dried green tea leaves (Sencha variety). After the visit to the hairdresser of our three munchkins, we prepared for an official training of team Raymond-Lafrance. The three runners in their specialized hi-tech clothes and Tristan and I with our regular running shoes. After a short warm up, we were off for a 1 km run. Elodie this afternoon was not quite in the mood but Jordan was, as usual, full of enthusiasm. Me, despite my energy being at the top, I did not even run the kilometer. I walked the last third of the way. Anyway I am handling the video camera at the Cross des Couleurs in Les Cèdres. After the training, with the fresh air and sunshine, the kids and I played touch football in the street. Mom was gone to the hairdresser, it was her turn. Touch football did not last long because the asphalt is not the best surface for it. But we continued to throw the ball for a while the four of us and then three of us since Élodie got bored. It was so pleasant to play ball with my kids. The Guys were running patterns and I was throwing cigars like a pro ;-). It was a great time in the outdoors, a lot of fresh air and fun. Time for sleep now because tomorrow is the race at 11:00 in Les Cèdres.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Disney On Ice
François thank you!
I thank him because he had the generosity to invite the whole family to see Disney On Ice in the Emergis/Telus loge. François is the father of Tristan's best friend . We have known each other for about three years now. Our boys are together all the time. François and Chantal, the mother of Thomas, are people with a big heart and of exceptional generousity. That is why Thomas and Tristan get along so well because Tristan also has a big heart. To illustrate this, these two boys aged 11 along with their friend Olivier organized last spring a cycle-o-thon to benefit the Hospital Ste-Justine foundation. They collected a total of $1605. It demonstrates their social conscience which I believe is very inspiring. They will do it again this year, I will call upon your generosity when the time comes.
Disney on Ice was a show worthy of ... Disney. Marie-Josee and I are fans of Disney. We brought our children twice already to Disney World (Florida) and we expect to return in 2010 when Élodie turns 6 years old. When she went the first time she was only 1 year old. Anyone who has kept in them the spirit of a child should go at least once to Disney World. In my case there is the child in me who loves Disney but there is also the "business" side because in my university studies they were mentioned often for their remarkable management of the theme park concept.
To See this show in a loge was a also a powerful experience. After that, watching a hockey game in the reds doesn't have the same appeal. The loge is spacious, comfortable and well stocked. In my case, something significant was the presence of private toilets. During a hockey game it's an asset that is worth its weight in gold and especially when, like me, you don't quite control your bowel movements. We were treated like distinguished guests and we spent a very enjoyable afternoon .
Thank you again François.
I thank him because he had the generosity to invite the whole family to see Disney On Ice in the Emergis/Telus loge. François is the father of Tristan's best friend . We have known each other for about three years now. Our boys are together all the time. François and Chantal, the mother of Thomas, are people with a big heart and of exceptional generousity. That is why Thomas and Tristan get along so well because Tristan also has a big heart. To illustrate this, these two boys aged 11 along with their friend Olivier organized last spring a cycle-o-thon to benefit the Hospital Ste-Justine foundation. They collected a total of $1605. It demonstrates their social conscience which I believe is very inspiring. They will do it again this year, I will call upon your generosity when the time comes.
Disney on Ice was a show worthy of ... Disney. Marie-Josee and I are fans of Disney. We brought our children twice already to Disney World (Florida) and we expect to return in 2010 when Élodie turns 6 years old. When she went the first time she was only 1 year old. Anyone who has kept in them the spirit of a child should go at least once to Disney World. In my case there is the child in me who loves Disney but there is also the "business" side because in my university studies they were mentioned often for their remarkable management of the theme park concept.
To See this show in a loge was a also a powerful experience. After that, watching a hockey game in the reds doesn't have the same appeal. The loge is spacious, comfortable and well stocked. In my case, something significant was the presence of private toilets. During a hockey game it's an asset that is worth its weight in gold and especially when, like me, you don't quite control your bowel movements. We were treated like distinguished guests and we spent a very enjoyable afternoon .
Thank you again François.
Cooked in the squat
This message is a follow up on a comment made on the french version of my blog. My brother and sister-in-law reminded me of a story I had told them 15 years ago. At the time I had finished reading See You At The Top from Zig Ziglar.
Pierre et Sandrine you are reminding me of a lot of moments when you talk about Cooked in the Squat. And Pierre you are right it is Zig Ziglar that tells this tale. I went on the web to find an audio recording of this Ziglar story of the biscuits that get cooked in the squat. The biscuits story starts around minute 2 and lasts until the end. In total the recording below lasts 6 minutes that are really worth a good listening. The heavy southern accent may be difficult to comprehend sometimes but my english readers should not have to much of an issue.
Well, this is a good start for the series of blog I am preparing to write on the philosophy that I embrassed when I was in my mid twenties after listening to loads of cassette and read plenty of books on motivation, positive thinking and "How to's". The book that summed it all up for me is "7 Habits of Highly Effective Pepole". I wish all could read this book and apply its teachings.
Action is the name of the game. It is the common element preached by Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar and others. It is in fact the subject of the little video I edited for you here.
Listen with pleasure and get into action!
Pierre et Sandrine you are reminding me of a lot of moments when you talk about Cooked in the Squat. And Pierre you are right it is Zig Ziglar that tells this tale. I went on the web to find an audio recording of this Ziglar story of the biscuits that get cooked in the squat. The biscuits story starts around minute 2 and lasts until the end. In total the recording below lasts 6 minutes that are really worth a good listening. The heavy southern accent may be difficult to comprehend sometimes but my english readers should not have to much of an issue.
Well, this is a good start for the series of blog I am preparing to write on the philosophy that I embrassed when I was in my mid twenties after listening to loads of cassette and read plenty of books on motivation, positive thinking and "How to's". The book that summed it all up for me is "7 Habits of Highly Effective Pepole". I wish all could read this book and apply its teachings.
Action is the name of the game. It is the common element preached by Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar and others. It is in fact the subject of the little video I edited for you here.
Listen with pleasure and get into action!
Monday, October 6, 2008
No judo for me this week
I missed judo tonight ... and for the week. I don't control my body as I want, especially post-chemo. Tonight is one of my soft period, in scientific terms: diarrhea. It comes with every chemo around the fifth day. Unfortunately this week my guys are going just once, tonight. The other two nights, Wednesday and Friday are reserved. Wednesday, Tristan will spend time with a private teacher to help him prepare for admission exams to secondary school. He is interested in three schools: externat sacré-Coeur, College St-Sacrement and St-Gabrielle school. The first two are private, the third is public but with IEP (international curriculum). The three schools have selection criteria including a written exam.
As for Friday we are invited by a friend to see Disney On Ice. The show is in the afternoon but it ends too late for us to return for judo. It is such a generous offer that we accepted with so much joy.
Other major news today: Élodie will wear glasses. A month ago during the normal pre-school visit, an optometrist detected astigmatism in Élodie's eyes. This afternoon she did further test to confirm the diagnosis. Élodie was not very pleased with this new accessory. I tried to put a smile on her face by saying that her father wears glasses and he is goodlooking anyway, to which she agreed of course. But the real turn around came when mom told her she also had to wear glasses and she showed her. Suddenly it was not the end of the world anymore it was, in fact, very cool and "sexy".
Watch my next blog because I want to begin a series of texts on an author who has influenced my life. I can hear Yves and Jocelyn say: "not Tony Robbins". No, not him even though I appreciate thoroughly what he advocates and that it's a part of what Dr. Stephen R. Covey wrote in his bestseller: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Until next time!
As for Friday we are invited by a friend to see Disney On Ice. The show is in the afternoon but it ends too late for us to return for judo. It is such a generous offer that we accepted with so much joy.
Other major news today: Élodie will wear glasses. A month ago during the normal pre-school visit, an optometrist detected astigmatism in Élodie's eyes. This afternoon she did further test to confirm the diagnosis. Élodie was not very pleased with this new accessory. I tried to put a smile on her face by saying that her father wears glasses and he is goodlooking anyway, to which she agreed of course. But the real turn around came when mom told her she also had to wear glasses and she showed her. Suddenly it was not the end of the world anymore it was, in fact, very cool and "sexy".
* The sexy part came when I made the comment that her newI'll post pictures when she gets them.
rectangular shaped raspberry color frame, chosen by her mother, would be so
beautiful. Elodie added "it will be sexy" with the associated gesture
that you can imagine. She is five years old ...
Watch my next blog because I want to begin a series of texts on an author who has influenced my life. I can hear Yves and Jocelyn say: "not Tony Robbins". No, not him even though I appreciate thoroughly what he advocates and that it's a part of what Dr. Stephen R. Covey wrote in his bestseller: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Until next time!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
In Between
Funny title, no?
This is the description that came to my mind when I wanted to write about the period I'm plugged into the bottle. I am writing this note because Marie-Josee looked at me this week, lying down, apathetic, asthenic, and she made the following comment: they don't really know what you're going through. "They" referring to all those who read the blog. I started to tell her that I had nothing interesting to say during those days or at least nothing positive. I would rather write nothing then write depressing things .
Then I thought for a bit and I told myself that this can still be interesting to know what happens during the days 1, 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 post-chemo. I know that I have described briefly the low energy that builds back up after a few days.
What I want to add today happens in between the ears. My brain, shortly after connecting to the bottle, has developed a pattern. It settles in a kind of soft cloud but at the same time not very comfortable (like a water bed, for 5 minutes you say wow that's nice, after half an hour you have backache). It's as if I have an out of body experience. I observe myself be soft and apathetic, heavy and slow. The majority of tasks require energy that my brain could force my body to do but it doesn't. It's as if it was saying "why should I get out of bed, it is not really necessary." It is certain that I'm spoiled by my entourage so there is a certain complacency. But my brain rationalises the behavior, I have to rest so I can recover quickly.
It's complicated, no. Get up, don't get up, rest, move your buttocks. There's this internal struggle during those three or four days. This intellectual rollercoaster projects an external image of depression. Marie-Josee watches me through a magnifying glass to see if it is temporary or if I will sink into despair. The reality is that I am certainly not the Martin you know during that period but I am not about to fall into real depression.
After the fifth round of chemo, sometimes I wish it would be over, that I'm cured. I would like to use my energy to live rather than survive. I'm not sure what I just said is clear. In any event, I reached the fourth day post-chemo, my brain is getting out of this cloud and it starts thinking about what to do during the period in which energy is better. Then, he realizes he has no time to do everything and must prioritize.
It's the fourth day, I am trying to prioritize ... write my blog, play with Elodie, play with the my boys, give a hug to my wife ...
This is the description that came to my mind when I wanted to write about the period I'm plugged into the bottle. I am writing this note because Marie-Josee looked at me this week, lying down, apathetic, asthenic, and she made the following comment: they don't really know what you're going through. "They" referring to all those who read the blog. I started to tell her that I had nothing interesting to say during those days or at least nothing positive. I would rather write nothing then write depressing things .
Then I thought for a bit and I told myself that this can still be interesting to know what happens during the days 1, 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 post-chemo. I know that I have described briefly the low energy that builds back up after a few days.
What I want to add today happens in between the ears. My brain, shortly after connecting to the bottle, has developed a pattern. It settles in a kind of soft cloud but at the same time not very comfortable (like a water bed, for 5 minutes you say wow that's nice, after half an hour you have backache). It's as if I have an out of body experience. I observe myself be soft and apathetic, heavy and slow. The majority of tasks require energy that my brain could force my body to do but it doesn't. It's as if it was saying "why should I get out of bed, it is not really necessary." It is certain that I'm spoiled by my entourage so there is a certain complacency. But my brain rationalises the behavior, I have to rest so I can recover quickly.
It's complicated, no. Get up, don't get up, rest, move your buttocks. There's this internal struggle during those three or four days. This intellectual rollercoaster projects an external image of depression. Marie-Josee watches me through a magnifying glass to see if it is temporary or if I will sink into despair. The reality is that I am certainly not the Martin you know during that period but I am not about to fall into real depression.
After the fifth round of chemo, sometimes I wish it would be over, that I'm cured. I would like to use my energy to live rather than survive. I'm not sure what I just said is clear. In any event, I reached the fourth day post-chemo, my brain is getting out of this cloud and it starts thinking about what to do during the period in which energy is better. Then, he realizes he has no time to do everything and must prioritize.
It's the fourth day, I am trying to prioritize ... write my blog, play with Elodie, play with the my boys, give a hug to my wife ...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
It will be for...
We got a call from the hospital this morning at 8:15. Dr M who is the doctor contacted by G, the scheduling nurse, decided that treatment should be delayed to next week. Marie-Josee challenged the decision by calling my coordinating nurse to see if she could get in touch with Dr. L and try to reverse the decision. She explained that a week does not affect the outcome of treatment. The danger with giving chemo with such a low level of white blood cells is too great to proceed this week.
For sure this was a disappointment for a short time this morning. For me it was a sign of failure ... for 15 minutes. After that, well, I looked for the positives in this situation.
If my white blood cells are so affected by chemo, imagine cancer cells. Especially since they don't receive any help compare to my white blood cells(Neupogen the super hero to the rescue).
I can enjoy a full week with plenty of energy while I usually have only 4 - 5 days before resuming chemo and drop quite a bit. I will be able to complete a lot of work for the fledgling company, Vita Ethica Laboratories. I will also work to boost my immune system: exercise, nutrition, sleep.
STOP!
Wait a minute. The phone is ringing. It's my coordinating nurse. She made the effort to contact Dr. L and discuss the situation. She told him that we are insistant. Dr. L accepts a compromise, I must return to the hospital to redo a blood test and we will advise according to the results. I got dressed and we left for the hospital. I got there around 13:00. The advantage to do this in the afternoon is that there is nobody. The needle is in and in 30 seconds they have a new blood sample to analyze. Now the wait starts. G promises to call me on my cell phone as soon as the results come out.
In the meantime, I went for lunch and run some errands. I am at Ernest trying on some trousers (I went from 38 to 34 since July) when my cell phone rings.
-Yes hello!
-Mr Raymond it's G in hematology.
-Yes ...
-You're at 1.8.
-YES !!!!!
-You know it's very rare that ... in fact, you are an exception Mr Raymond.
-G this will not be the last time I will be an exception, believe me.
-Then would 10 o'clock tomorrow suit you.
-It 's perfect, thank you and see you tomorrow.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I will receive my chemo tomorrow with a day's delay, not a week.
For sure this was a disappointment for a short time this morning. For me it was a sign of failure ... for 15 minutes. After that, well, I looked for the positives in this situation.
If my white blood cells are so affected by chemo, imagine cancer cells. Especially since they don't receive any help compare to my white blood cells(Neupogen the super hero to the rescue).
I can enjoy a full week with plenty of energy while I usually have only 4 - 5 days before resuming chemo and drop quite a bit. I will be able to complete a lot of work for the fledgling company, Vita Ethica Laboratories. I will also work to boost my immune system: exercise, nutrition, sleep.
STOP!
Wait a minute. The phone is ringing. It's my coordinating nurse. She made the effort to contact Dr. L and discuss the situation. She told him that we are insistant. Dr. L accepts a compromise, I must return to the hospital to redo a blood test and we will advise according to the results. I got dressed and we left for the hospital. I got there around 13:00. The advantage to do this in the afternoon is that there is nobody. The needle is in and in 30 seconds they have a new blood sample to analyze. Now the wait starts. G promises to call me on my cell phone as soon as the results come out.
In the meantime, I went for lunch and run some errands. I am at Ernest trying on some trousers (I went from 38 to 34 since July) when my cell phone rings.
-Yes hello!
-Mr Raymond it's G in hematology.
-Yes ...
-You're at 1.8.
-YES !!!!!
-You know it's very rare that ... in fact, you are an exception Mr Raymond.
-G this will not be the last time I will be an exception, believe me.
-Then would 10 o'clock tomorrow suit you.
-It 's perfect, thank you and see you tomorrow.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I will receive my chemo tomorrow with a day's delay, not a week.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Effective... or not?
I received a call from the hospital around 16:30. The lady tells me that the blood test done this morning indicates a level of white blood cells of 1.4. Remember that 1.5 is the lower limit under which chemo is usually delayed for a week. Well, she did not cancel tomorrow's chemo yet because only a doctor can take the decision and she could not find one at this time. So I go to bed tonight not knowing if tomorrow I get my treatment. I can tell you that this call was like a speed bump on the road. You drive a bit too fast, you don't see the speed bump and bang! You hit your head. The call was a bit like the analogy of the "speed bump". I was temporarily stunned, disoriented ... I had the blues.
My first reaction was not to go to judo. I felt like letting myself absorb in self-pity, not so much in the mood to take care of young "judokas". I did not have the energy to tell the world "things are going well" with a big smile but neither did I want to explain the details of that call.
My second reaction was to get my biology and pharmacology books out to see what I have not done or what I could do to boost my white blood cells. 20 minutes of reading and I did not learn much. The immune system is a complex subject.
My third reaction was: "this 200$ a dose sh*&%t is not working."
Finally, I started to breathe through the nose and I started to think things through. Since the beginnning blood test are done for the specific purpose of detecting these predictable low levels. Ultimately the question is not WILL I get under 1.5 but rather WHEN will I be below this threshold. If the result is to delay by one week my treatment, it is not the end of the world, just a little bit demoralizing.
Understand that since my appointment with Dr. L, my hematologist, where he said "here's the plan", my path has been positive all the way.
Let me explain:
-I had to be in a good enough shape to start chemotherapy quickly: check
-I had to tolerate the poisons they give me to get rid of cancer: check
-I also had to tolerate Avastin: check
-I have impressed many people including the president of the association by my apparent good shape: check
-Even at 1.5-the doc prescribed the chemo since my case was good: check
-That same day the cancer markers trend gives renewed hope: check
Only good news ... Today is not such a bad news after all. It's just that I was flying high with all my good news so this bad news came as a shock. It felt like right after a big rush of adrenaline. You don't come down at normal level, you crash.
The Neupogen may not be effective? Or it is very effective and thanks to it my level is at 1.4 when it could have been much lower. I will propably never know the true answer but by now you're starting to know me, if there is a positive angle to a story (and there's always one) that's the version I'm sticking to. So thank God I took Neupogen.
In addition, my last chemo was a Wednesday and this one is on a Tuesday, one day short for my white blood cell production. I am sure that if we took another blood sample tomorrow I'd hit 1.5.
Watch the blog closely tomorrow to see if I received the treatment or not. .
Ciao!
My first reaction was not to go to judo. I felt like letting myself absorb in self-pity, not so much in the mood to take care of young "judokas". I did not have the energy to tell the world "things are going well" with a big smile but neither did I want to explain the details of that call.
My second reaction was to get my biology and pharmacology books out to see what I have not done or what I could do to boost my white blood cells. 20 minutes of reading and I did not learn much. The immune system is a complex subject.
My third reaction was: "this 200$ a dose sh*&%t is not working."
Finally, I started to breathe through the nose and I started to think things through. Since the beginnning blood test are done for the specific purpose of detecting these predictable low levels. Ultimately the question is not WILL I get under 1.5 but rather WHEN will I be below this threshold. If the result is to delay by one week my treatment, it is not the end of the world, just a little bit demoralizing.
Understand that since my appointment with Dr. L, my hematologist, where he said "here's the plan", my path has been positive all the way.
Let me explain:
-I had to be in a good enough shape to start chemotherapy quickly: check
-I had to tolerate the poisons they give me to get rid of cancer: check
-I also had to tolerate Avastin: check
-I have impressed many people including the president of the association by my apparent good shape: check
-Even at 1.5-the doc prescribed the chemo since my case was good: check
-That same day the cancer markers trend gives renewed hope: check
Only good news ... Today is not such a bad news after all. It's just that I was flying high with all my good news so this bad news came as a shock. It felt like right after a big rush of adrenaline. You don't come down at normal level, you crash.
The Neupogen may not be effective? Or it is very effective and thanks to it my level is at 1.4 when it could have been much lower. I will propably never know the true answer but by now you're starting to know me, if there is a positive angle to a story (and there's always one) that's the version I'm sticking to. So thank God I took Neupogen.
In addition, my last chemo was a Wednesday and this one is on a Tuesday, one day short for my white blood cell production. I am sure that if we took another blood sample tomorrow I'd hit 1.5.
Watch the blog closely tomorrow to see if I received the treatment or not. .
Ciao!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Neupogen, do you know what it is?
I did not know before it was prescribed to me. It is a product that boosts the production of white blood cells.
By the way...
By the way...
A quick reminder that white blood cells are like the policemen/garbagemen of the
human body. They are one of the three main cells of the human blood (with red
blood cells and platelets) that doctors monitor when they ask for a blood test.
They're the ones that fight infection. Chemotherapy kills bad cells (cancer) and
good cells (White blood cells are destroyed unfortunately too). Naturally, our
body produces new cells continuously but with the chemotherapy sometimes the
production of new white blood cells does not compensate for their destruction.
The decrease in the level of white blood cells is therefore normal in this
context but we must still watch it because when it gets too low the risk of
serious infection increases. It is delicate balance between avoiding death by
cancer without causing death by infection. When we speak of infection, we talk
about something trivial to the normal homosapiens. A flu, a cold or pneumonia
does not cause serious problems for people with a normal level of white blood
cells but for people like me it could be fatal. The instruction that I have is
that if I develop a fever of 38.1 °, I have to rush to the hospital .
Let's return to Neupogen. This product has been prescribed by the hematologist whom I met before my fourth treatment. On that day the blood test showed a level of white blood cells of 1.5 which is low (that is 1.5 X 10 ^ 9 I believe). We had been warned that treatment could be delayed to allow more time for the system to produce more white blood cells. But the hematologist on duty, after a review of my file and observing my young athletic body
Neupogen must be refrigerated. Getting the drug from the pharmacy was a little funny because the hospital pharmacist had provided us with a bag with an icepack on the inside. It was very important not to allow the product to warm up in transport between my local pharmacy and our house. I must mention that this product is sold just shy of to $ 200 a dose. I was prescribed 5 doses now and 5 doses after my next chemo. That's some serious cash. Fortunately, Marie-Josee is insured and the product is reimbursed to a certain level.
What you also need to know about this product is that it must be administered by subcutaneous injection, yes yes a needle in my skin. The first dose had to be given by a nurse from the CLSC(local health services) in case of an allergic reaction... and to train Marie-Josée. Yes sir, my wife turned into a nurse for the love of her sweetheart.
She admitted that the first few times she had to stick the needle into my arm, her head was spinning and was afraid of passing out.
But not at all she did it like a pro and she conquered her fear. Marie-Josee also thanks her aunt Johanne, a nurse, for her reassuring presence during the first injection. The only side effect I felt, and for which I was warned, is bone pain in my lower back. For a while I had the impression of having the heart in the lower back. The pain was throbing at the same pace as my heartbeat. Tomorrow I will see if the product is effective because I'm going to the hospital for my blood test pre-chemo # 5.
Good night!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
It's amazing...
A small note just like that because today I was chatting with Isabelle and Sylvain, our neighbors, they told me they gave the address of the blog to a friend. This friend told Isabelle that the texts she reads on the blog motivate and inspire her. I was fascinated by this story and thinking about it made me realise there are other stories like this one. My father-in-law did the same with his boss and some colleagues. So I now have people from Kuwait who read the English version of the blog. I received a message from an American childhood friend, David Gerwatowski, who was told of the blog by his mother who had been told by my brother Omer. It was then that I decided to translate the blog because I realized that several people showed an interest in reading the blog but couldn't do so in French.
There is also Sister Louise, who has taught Marie-Josee and her friends at Ste-Marcelline, which read the blog from Italy. She was told about it by our friend Andrée. Christine, who also lives in Italy, visits the blog. Several friends in Ontario come take a peek, including Vince, who has had a major impact on my career in pharmaceuticals. This morning came a comment from the Alarie family. This family was without a doubt an important part of our family life on Ile Bizard. Ms. Alarie was the best friend of my mother, Mr. Alarie was the best hockey coach I had. Robert was my best friend and Gilbert was Jocelyn. Isabelle, the youngest of the family wrote the commentary. Not to mention my sister-in-law Sandrine, born in France:-), which communicated the blog's adress to her family and friends in France, I therefore have readers there too.It is a fascinating web that is woven from the blog.
I am amazed because I never imagined that my blog would be such a communication tool and a therapy at the same time. What I want to tell you is that I am very touched by everyone's reaction. To know that you think of sharing with others what I write here is deeply moving. It is also very therapeutic because if for a moment, and I say "moment", I doubt or worry, I read the comments and messages to get back in the saddle. Your support is an incredible source of energy.
All of you tell me not to quit, I in turn ask you, dont't quit reading.
There is also Sister Louise, who has taught Marie-Josee and her friends at Ste-Marcelline, which read the blog from Italy. She was told about it by our friend Andrée. Christine, who also lives in Italy, visits the blog. Several friends in Ontario come take a peek, including Vince, who has had a major impact on my career in pharmaceuticals. This morning came a comment from the Alarie family. This family was without a doubt an important part of our family life on Ile Bizard. Ms. Alarie was the best friend of my mother, Mr. Alarie was the best hockey coach I had. Robert was my best friend and Gilbert was Jocelyn. Isabelle, the youngest of the family wrote the commentary. Not to mention my sister-in-law Sandrine, born in France:-), which communicated the blog's adress to her family and friends in France, I therefore have readers there too.It is a fascinating web that is woven from the blog.
I am amazed because I never imagined that my blog would be such a communication tool and a therapy at the same time. What I want to tell you is that I am very touched by everyone's reaction. To know that you think of sharing with others what I write here is deeply moving. It is also very therapeutic because if for a moment, and I say "moment", I doubt or worry, I read the comments and messages to get back in the saddle. Your support is an incredible source of energy.
All of you tell me not to quit, I in turn ask you, dont't quit reading.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Élodie, Jordan and Mom are running
I have not yet figured out how to upload quality video so sorry if it's unclear. The music chosen is part of Mom's running selection.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Running, it's a family affair
Running is contagious. Elodie our 5 year old daughter had already started to emulate her mother this spring. She trained with her (see video) and participated in a 1 km race in Ste-Therese. She finished third in the girls 5-6 year old category with a time of 7:05 (on sportstats.ca look for Élodie Raymond). Today, after a few training sessions with Mom, Jordan joined the family group of runners. The three participated in the 1 km race in St-Jerome. Jordan and Elodie did this like champions. Jordan ran his kilometer in 5:01 and Élodie in 5:50. With the Mom's Garmin watch we know that Élodie reached a top speed of 13 km/h and ran on average at 9.8 km/h. For a 5 year old girl it is impressive. The reason for her speed is that she wanted to catch up with her brother, who ran in front of her. It was a beautiful day for such an activity. You can watch a small video of the race in my next blog. This race was sponsored by Jacqueline Gareau (9 times marathon winner in her career). We said hello to her before leaving the site of the race because she had noticed Élodie's participation medal around her neck.
Congratulations to the Raymond-Lafrance group of runner! 
Congratulations to the Raymond-Lafrance group of runner!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Courage
I wanted to speak about courage because I received some messages congratulating me for mine.
But what is courage?
Eight words define the moral code of Judo as edicted by its founder Jigoro Kano, courage is one. The definition given in this moral code is: Courage is doing what is right. In the french Larousse dictionary ( that I losely translate here) it defines courage as strength of character, firmness when facing danger, suffering or any difficult situation.
Seen from this angle am I brave? Maybe.
On the other hand, to honor my parents, I don't know any other way to react to situations like this. They gave me the best possible example of courage so I don't have much merit. Especially because, as I said in another blog, I have an extraordinary support network. I have only one thing left to tackle it's to beat the cancer. Everything else my wife, my in-laws, my family and my friends are taking care of it.
The subject of courage was also inspired by a video that three of my friends at Pfizer have sent me. Pfizer has established a website called http://www.morethanmedication.ca/en/home/ where you can see the video in question "Graffiti". Once you have you watched it you are invited to send an invitation to someone in exchange Pfizer will make a $ 5 donation to the Foundation for the Starlight Children. At my last glance, they were at $ 16,145. So I encourage you to watch it and send it to someone who inspires you courage.
Sometimes I am a little bit more serious but I am still smiling ...
But what is courage?
Eight words define the moral code of Judo as edicted by its founder Jigoro Kano, courage is one. The definition given in this moral code is: Courage is doing what is right. In the french Larousse dictionary ( that I losely translate here) it defines courage as strength of character, firmness when facing danger, suffering or any difficult situation.
Seen from this angle am I brave? Maybe.
On the other hand, to honor my parents, I don't know any other way to react to situations like this. They gave me the best possible example of courage so I don't have much merit. Especially because, as I said in another blog, I have an extraordinary support network. I have only one thing left to tackle it's to beat the cancer. Everything else my wife, my in-laws, my family and my friends are taking care of it.
The subject of courage was also inspired by a video that three of my friends at Pfizer have sent me. Pfizer has established a website called http://www.morethanmedication.ca/en/home/ where you can see the video in question "Graffiti". Once you have you watched it you are invited to send an invitation to someone in exchange Pfizer will make a $ 5 donation to the Foundation for the Starlight Children. At my last glance, they were at $ 16,145. So I encourage you to watch it and send it to someone who inspires you courage.
Sometimes I am a little bit more serious but I am still smiling ...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Chemo #4...some news
Hi everyone,
Today was a pivotal day. Before I could receive my chemo I had to meet an hematologist to assess the situation and adjust if necessary. Well, it is certain that three chemo treatments is nothing to write home about but ... You need to understand that this is 6 weeks since I started chemo, or 42 days. If you calculate since the operation I am approaching two months, 60 days that I know about my cancer and that my mind (mon mental) began the fight. During all this time the battle is all in my head in the sense that I do not see my opponent. In judo in randori or shiai (combat or competition) you can visually assess your impact on the other combatant. You can see if he is weakening, if he still has tricks up its sleeves to surprise you. You can touch and feel its strength or its weakness.
With cancer, for the past two months, I lead a blind fight (not sure about this expression). It's OK I wanted it like that as I explained in the blog on the book by Lance. It remains that at some point you become a little curious. You want to know if you're on the right track. In my case, there are two main ways to verify that.
The second way is the calculation of tumor markers. Several different markers are used according to the cancer cause. In my case they seem to follow the evolution of CA-125 markers and CEA. Ca-125 is Cancer Antigen 125 and CEA is Carcinoembryonic Antigen. The presence of these markers and their level is a complex area but if I symplify it, we can say that hematologists look for trends. Decrease, stability, increase: guess which are positive? Too easy would my daughter Elodie, a decrease and / or stability in the trend are positive elements. Before giving you my results, I want to be clear that positive results do not mean a cure, it simply indicates that we are on the right track.
My levels of CA-125 went from 65in June to 23.2 today. According to the doc the current level is in the normal rangen (even for people without cancer).
My level of CEA is stable, 12.9 in June to 13 today.
Conclusion the trend is positive.
I think I have presented these results sensibly and with a good control of my emotions. Let me now present them you as a hyper positive salesman. My level of CA-125 has decreased by 64% in two months. A significant change since this marker now shows no difference between me and a person without cancer. This is an excellent result in my assessment, don't you think? The CEA is a capricious marker which can go up and down between two cycles of chemotherapy. Doctors are wary of the interpretation that can be done with it, but there seems to be a consensus that the stable trend is definitely a good sign. Combine these results to two other elements. Scatologicaly speaking, my stools are larger in diameter than ever. Personal Interpretation and visualization, my tumors are regressing (to be confirmed in October).
The president of the association of colorectal cancer of Canada, Mr. Barry Stein, which I finally met in person yesterday evening at a meeting of a support group made the following comment: "You look great Martin, as a matter of fact you look damn good. "
Barry was diagnosed at age 40 with colon cancer. This was 14 years ago. In the last 6 years they have detected no signs of recurrence. He is my inspiration. It is totally committed to the fight against colorectal cancer and has seen many people suffering from cancer. having him tell me I look great was a total morale booster. Add to this the results this morning and you can believe that, despite some fatigue thanks to the chemo, my morale is # 1.
My wife said in the support group yesterday that I had a the moral of a bull (loosely translated), it made me smile and I really liked it. And don't forget that all your messages of encouragement and your comments on the type of relationship that each one of you has with me are very important in maintaining my morale. You're part of my team.
So this evening when reading this blog, smile, things are going well.
Today was a pivotal day. Before I could receive my chemo I had to meet an hematologist to assess the situation and adjust if necessary. Well, it is certain that three chemo treatments is nothing to write home about but ... You need to understand that this is 6 weeks since I started chemo, or 42 days. If you calculate since the operation I am approaching two months, 60 days that I know about my cancer and that my mind (mon mental) began the fight. During all this time the battle is all in my head in the sense that I do not see my opponent. In judo in randori or shiai (combat or competition) you can visually assess your impact on the other combatant. You can see if he is weakening, if he still has tricks up its sleeves to surprise you. You can touch and feel its strength or its weakness.
With cancer, for the past two months, I lead a blind fight (not sure about this expression). It's OK I wanted it like that as I explained in the blog on the book by Lance. It remains that at some point you become a little curious. You want to know if you're on the right track. In my case, there are two main ways to verify that.
Please note that what follows are statements based on my understanding and I can be way out in left field, but I'm very open-minded and if anyone wants to correct my assertions they are welcome.The best way is the abdominal scan. My first one was made on July 21st. Doctors believe that doing another scan before the three months mark is not representative. So my next scan will be between the 10th and 20th of October. A small wait again.
The second way is the calculation of tumor markers. Several different markers are used according to the cancer cause. In my case they seem to follow the evolution of CA-125 markers and CEA. Ca-125 is Cancer Antigen 125 and CEA is Carcinoembryonic Antigen. The presence of these markers and their level is a complex area but if I symplify it, we can say that hematologists look for trends. Decrease, stability, increase: guess which are positive? Too easy would my daughter Elodie, a decrease and / or stability in the trend are positive elements. Before giving you my results, I want to be clear that positive results do not mean a cure, it simply indicates that we are on the right track.
My levels of CA-125 went from 65in June to 23.2 today. According to the doc the current level is in the normal rangen (even for people without cancer).
My level of CEA is stable, 12.9 in June to 13 today.
Conclusion the trend is positive.
I think I have presented these results sensibly and with a good control of my emotions. Let me now present them you as a hyper positive salesman. My level of CA-125 has decreased by 64% in two months. A significant change since this marker now shows no difference between me and a person without cancer. This is an excellent result in my assessment, don't you think? The CEA is a capricious marker which can go up and down between two cycles of chemotherapy. Doctors are wary of the interpretation that can be done with it, but there seems to be a consensus that the stable trend is definitely a good sign. Combine these results to two other elements. Scatologicaly speaking, my stools are larger in diameter than ever. Personal Interpretation and visualization, my tumors are regressing (to be confirmed in October).
The president of the association of colorectal cancer of Canada, Mr. Barry Stein, which I finally met in person yesterday evening at a meeting of a support group made the following comment: "You look great Martin, as a matter of fact you look damn good. "
Barry was diagnosed at age 40 with colon cancer. This was 14 years ago. In the last 6 years they have detected no signs of recurrence. He is my inspiration. It is totally committed to the fight against colorectal cancer and has seen many people suffering from cancer. having him tell me I look great was a total morale booster. Add to this the results this morning and you can believe that, despite some fatigue thanks to the chemo, my morale is # 1.
My wife said in the support group yesterday that I had a the moral of a bull (loosely translated), it made me smile and I really liked it. And don't forget that all your messages of encouragement and your comments on the type of relationship that each one of you has with me are very important in maintaining my morale. You're part of my team.
So this evening when reading this blog, smile, things are going well.
Congratulations Jocelyn!
I want to congratulate my brother Jocelyn who went for his colonoscopy yesterday. It was not in vain because they found a small polyp that they took out instantly. For Jocelyn it is the third polyp that he has removed. The other two were there about 4-5 years ago. If you do not know about polyps they are not cancerous tumors and once removed there's nothing more to be done. But polyps, which are not removed can become cancerous over a period of 3 to 5 years. So polyps are usually benign, but they must be removed because their potential for malignancy is high in the medium to long term.
Monday, September 15, 2008
English Version
As I was mentioning it on the french version of my blog... here it is. I received several messages from English-speaking friends who tell me they have received news of my health and the address of my blog. They tell me that even if they can not understand what I wrote they feel that I lead the fight in a positive way. To leave no one behind I decided to translate my blog. So those who prefer to read my text in English can go to the address: martinraymond-eng.blogspot.com. Perhaps you also know someone with whom you want to share reflections of my blog but that person speaks only English. I translate the blog with Google translation. It works quite well. I only have to correct the inevitable mistakes made in a litteral translation (eg Lâche pas MJ becomes coward not MJ when it should say don't quit MJ). I have to forego some of my French humour because it does not translate well. It would require that I redo the text directly in English. The important thing is that my English friends can have all of the messages that I write on the french version. You will, I hope, forgive my gramatical errors and french syntax.
Until next time
Until next time
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Bravo Marie-Josée!
1:03:06. An hour three minutes and 6 seconds. Here is her official time based on the chip. It's an excellent result with a knee injury. That's 4 seconds faster than the 10 km in Ottawa in May. She is proud of herself and I am proud of her. She told me that this race brought her more satisfaction than Ottawa because her motivation was different. This time she ran for me. Also the finish line is inside the Olympic Stadium, it's quite a feeling. Especially as MCs were naming as many people as possible upon their arrival and we heard the name "Marie-Josee Lafrance" echo in the stadium. Of the women who ran the 10K, my Love finished 475 (of 829) and 53rd in her age category (of 96 women aged 40-44). In mentioning these stats, I feel like talking about the world of running for a second. The logistics behind these events is incredible. It is a sport that demonstrates that they are used to organize events with thousands of participants. The company Sportstats is present almost everywhere, even in small events as the race in St- Therese in the spring. It provides chips that you attach to your running shoes. These chips are detected (read) at the start and finish lines. That's how they get the running time for each runner, accurate and fast. 10 minutes after the race all the times are displayed on sheets at the site of the race and simultaneously on the website of the company (sportstats.ca). Go take a look, you can search by athlete or race. Search for Marie-Josee Lafrance or for any member of Yves family (Michelle, Stéphane, Patrick, Julie, Christine or Danielle). You'll find the list of races for everyone with the rest of their individual statistics (time, placement by category or general). It blows me away. If judo was 10% as effective as this during competitions, the sport would be transformed logistics wise.
Back to Marie-Josee's race, I would like to send a thank you to one of her coworker: Maja. This woman is extraordinarily generous. Already in May, she had demonstrated it by running with Josee in Ottawa. She is a runner, yes, but she had not plan to run in Ottawa. She did it because Josée was doing it and it was her first race. This weekend she was already committed to participate in another race, the Terry Fox event on Mont-Royal. But she still made the effort to support Josée, she was standing between kilometer 6 and 7 of the course. A place that Josée had indicated as strategic for her because of a tiring "faux plat" and for a psychological boost at three-quarters of the race done. There were very few spectators but Maja was there and Josée saw her and heard her shouting "looking good MJ". Meanwhile Maja and I were communicating through MJ's blackberry by messenger. She wrote: I saw her, she looks good. That reassured me and confirmed that I had to waste no time if I wanted to be present at the finish line at the right time.
Thank you Maja !
Bravo Marie-Josée!
Back to Marie-Josee's race, I would like to send a thank you to one of her coworker: Maja. This woman is extraordinarily generous. Already in May, she had demonstrated it by running with Josee in Ottawa. She is a runner, yes, but she had not plan to run in Ottawa. She did it because Josée was doing it and it was her first race. This weekend she was already committed to participate in another race, the Terry Fox event on Mont-Royal. But she still made the effort to support Josée, she was standing between kilometer 6 and 7 of the course. A place that Josée had indicated as strategic for her because of a tiring "faux plat" and for a psychological boost at three-quarters of the race done. There were very few spectators but Maja was there and Josée saw her and heard her shouting "looking good MJ". Meanwhile Maja and I were communicating through MJ's blackberry by messenger. She wrote: I saw her, she looks good. That reassured me and confirmed that I had to waste no time if I wanted to be present at the finish line at the right time.
Thank you Maja !
Bravo Marie-Josée!
10 km - Tomorrow
It is tomorrow that Marie-Josee runs the 10 km during the Montreal Marathon day. Given the delay in her preparation, she settled on running the 10K when she initially wanted to make the half-marathon (21 km). She injured her knee this week but she will run anyway. She says that her suffering is nothing next to mine. I am touched by her gesture. What she does not understand though is that I don't suffer at all. I have a good drug pusher of morphine derivative from whom I get my stock. Perhaps I don't feel a buzz but I am pain free 98% of the time. I try to be funny because I don't really know what to say to my wife who gives me her support in every way possible including this one and I am concerned for the health of her knee. I have already mentioned it, my wife is driven ... so what am I to do except to support her and carry a nice big bag of ice to put on her knee right after she crosses the finish line. ;-)
Good luck my love!
Good luck my love!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Otagai ni Rei
I was looking for a way to intrigue everyone with my title. I hope that I was successful. Otagai ni Rei is the call to salute partners in training in some martial arts. This call is delivered at the beginning and end of sessions following the two other calls to salute: Shomen ni Rei and Sensei ni Rei. If I simplify, this is a way to greet everyone with respect. Why did I start like that? Because tonight I had enough energy to endorse my judogi and act as a Sensei aid, like a teacher-aid. I have to say that we have a phenomenal start this season. We have at least 30 enrolled in the less than 13 years old, while last season we were about 15. 30 to one ratio in any discipline is huge so I wanted to support Luc Sensei as much as I could. Finally it went well and Luc would have been OK without me since Jacques was there, Jasmin, his son, helped him and also others like Richard and Jesse. Let's say that I did help a little, but the main thing is that I enjoyed the evening because I love to share my passion for judo with young people. By the way if anyone reading this is interested in judo, don't be shy, call me or come see us at 48 St-Louis in Ste-Therese (above the arena) every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 18:30 on.
Sayonara!
Sayonara!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Screening for cancer
You know, once you have cancer you wish you could have avoided it. If only I had known ... you say to yourself. In most cancers there are ways of detecting early signs and my experience is an example that too young doesn't exist with cancer.
I say... if I had known? What about you? Do you have cancer?
If not, when was your last test? In the case of my family, at the hospital they all said they had understood the message and had or were going to make an appointment? Is this done? Pierre when is your colonoscopy? Omer, Louis, Yves? Lucie? Lilianne and Jocelyn, I know that you were already aware but you should not delay much more. I am pushing hard on my family because one of the questions from doctors concerns family history. Well now my 5 brothers and 2 sisters must respond that colorectal cancer runs in the family. My own children will be monitored very early (in their early twenties). For other people who are not my immediate family, a simple test can save you so many concerns and offer a prognosis so much easier to handle. So what are you waiting for? Many of you wrote to me saying that I had, in one way or another, a positive influence in your lives. I'm happy. I would like my next influence on you to be a positive action regarding early detection of cancer.
Act now!
I say... if I had known? What about you? Do you have cancer?
If not, when was your last test? In the case of my family, at the hospital they all said they had understood the message and had or were going to make an appointment? Is this done? Pierre when is your colonoscopy? Omer, Louis, Yves? Lucie? Lilianne and Jocelyn, I know that you were already aware but you should not delay much more. I am pushing hard on my family because one of the questions from doctors concerns family history. Well now my 5 brothers and 2 sisters must respond that colorectal cancer runs in the family. My own children will be monitored very early (in their early twenties). For other people who are not my immediate family, a simple test can save you so many concerns and offer a prognosis so much easier to handle. So what are you waiting for? Many of you wrote to me saying that I had, in one way or another, a positive influence in your lives. I'm happy. I would like my next influence on you to be a positive action regarding early detection of cancer.
Act now!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Chemo... #3
We are Thursday morning. A day after the third chemo that I received Wednesday instead of Tuesday, back to school day. Marie-Josée and I wanted to be present for this special day since our last child, Elodie, started kindergarten. The view of our three children walking to school with their backpacks, the two big brothers explaining to their sister the school routine, the summer sun and a mix of emotions of pride and nostalgia. Nostalgia because the realization that we have no more baby hits you in the face on back to school day. I admit that this day also brought me an even greater resolution to fight for my survival. We may not have babies anymorebut, 5, 9 and 11 years do not make them adults yet. I have so much to share with my children that there is only one solution.
Back to chemo # 3 until now it is a far cry from # 2. I slept well and this morning, except for the fact that I did not attend the morning routine, I'm in pretty good shape (all things being relative). Unlike two weeks ago, I have enough energy to write on my blog and do one or two follow up on the business plan.
I could not explain why there are differences in the reaction of my body after each chemo but when I think about it there may be some elements or actions which have been different.
First, there is my diet. For two weeks I'm seriously working at integrating the research of Dr. Beliveau. So I drink three cups of Japanese green tea per day, I eat a meal with turmeric per day, I swallow quantities of garlic and / or onion like never accompanied by a series of selected vegetables (brussels sprouts, leeks, asparagus etc.).. All this on top of my Ensure and Boost drinks to ensure a good amount of protein, vitamins and minerals. I am still limited because I can not take too many fibers. My tumor on the right, that the surgeon estimates at 25 cm long (almost a foot), is largely blocking my ascending colon. It is important for me to avoid an obstruction, thus the limitations on residual fibers.
Also, there was a good boost to my morale when I attended the official opening of the season at the Judo club youngest class. The group that I had the responsibility last season. It was not much but it gave me an incredible feeling inside. Just putting my judogi on, participate in the opening protocol (greetings) and have the opportunity to address the kids to explain that I can not give all the courses this year was a beautiful time for me. My wife has even noticed that during the Mokso (meditation at the beginning) the sun entered the dojo and gave the illusion of enligthning and wrapping its divine light around me.
Finally, have these elements been a factor or not in my reaction to chemo # 3 we will never know but as they say, perception is reality so ...
Good day!
Back to chemo # 3 until now it is a far cry from # 2. I slept well and this morning, except for the fact that I did not attend the morning routine, I'm in pretty good shape (all things being relative). Unlike two weeks ago, I have enough energy to write on my blog and do one or two follow up on the business plan.
I could not explain why there are differences in the reaction of my body after each chemo but when I think about it there may be some elements or actions which have been different.
First, there is my diet. For two weeks I'm seriously working at integrating the research of Dr. Beliveau. So I drink three cups of Japanese green tea per day, I eat a meal with turmeric per day, I swallow quantities of garlic and / or onion like never accompanied by a series of selected vegetables (brussels sprouts, leeks, asparagus etc.).. All this on top of my Ensure and Boost drinks to ensure a good amount of protein, vitamins and minerals. I am still limited because I can not take too many fibers. My tumor on the right, that the surgeon estimates at 25 cm long (almost a foot), is largely blocking my ascending colon. It is important for me to avoid an obstruction, thus the limitations on residual fibers.
Also, there was a good boost to my morale when I attended the official opening of the season at the Judo club youngest class. The group that I had the responsibility last season. It was not much but it gave me an incredible feeling inside. Just putting my judogi on, participate in the opening protocol (greetings) and have the opportunity to address the kids to explain that I can not give all the courses this year was a beautiful time for me. My wife has even noticed that during the Mokso (meditation at the beginning) the sun entered the dojo and gave the illusion of enligthning and wrapping its divine light around me.
Finally, have these elements been a factor or not in my reaction to chemo # 3 we will never know but as they say, perception is reality so ...
Good day!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Chemo # 2, addition of Avastin
I have aready talked about chemo briefly. This time I will go over more details since today I received my second treatment and Avastin was added.
9:00 Arrival at Hôpital Sacré-Coeur (Sacred Heart Hospital). I had my blood work done the day before so I can report my presence immediately to the coordinator of treatment. I saved 45 minutes today this way. She is responsible for preparing, in collaboration with the pharmacy, bags for intaveinous infusion along with the specific protocols that she will give to the nurse in the treatment room.
9:15 The nurse in the treatment room calls me up and I get set-up in a leather armchair the reclining kind. This room contains 4 seats therefore 4 patients at a time.
9:45 The nurse now comes to take care of me. She must remove the bandages covering my transparent piccline then sanitize the region of insertion in the body. She flushes the piccline meaning she introduces a saline solution in the piccline tubing to be sure it is free of obstructions.
9:50 She installs my bag of Avastin (Bevacizumab) said this ten times in a row.
This bag is empty in 90 minutes. I read and listen to the radio at the same time. Josée sits on a small stool beside me. It is not very comfortable for her.
11:30 Avastin is now done. I get Kytril (granisetron) as my next perfusion. It's an anti nausea drug that lasts 24 hours. It is administered in 10 minutes.
11:40 Now the Oxiplatine and Leucovorin (folinic acid). Two bags at the same time for 2 hours. At this point I read half of Lance Armstrong's book. The Oxiplatine is the product that gives me the impression of having the fingertip like a pin cushion. This takes several minutes and then disappears. Then it returns from time to time during the evening and the two days following. My skin is also sensitive to cold for some time but all in all I tolerate pretty well all the poisons they give me.
13:45 Now time for the last part of the protocol FOLFOX (Oxaliplatin + Leucovorin +5 FU) : 5FU or Fluorouracil. This is the one that I have in my bottle during 46 hours. It begins with a bolus infusion over ten minutes and then the nurse installs the bottle on the piccline (see photos).
14:00 I am heading home. Josée took advantage of the time we were at the hospital for a few administrative details (copy of scan on CD, monthly parking packages, etc.). She also brought me lunch. I realise it is a long day for her but I know I could not do it without her present.
The Avastin has now added 90 minutes to the routine. In the third treatment they can make the infusion in 60 minutes and after that in 30 minutes.
Now you know to the minute the unfolding of MY chemo because you must also understand that each case is treated a little differently depending on their situation. Next to me today I had another man who had colon cancer. He was about my age. He had the privilege of having discovered the cancer early enough to be eligible for a radical total colostomy without a bag. He had a different catheter, implanted in the chest like a pacemaker and received preventive chemotherapy or in other words a chemo which ensured that there was no remaining cancer after surgery. His process and medicines was a little different from mine.
Good night!
9:00 Arrival at Hôpital Sacré-Coeur (Sacred Heart Hospital). I had my blood work done the day before so I can report my presence immediately to the coordinator of treatment. I saved 45 minutes today this way. She is responsible for preparing, in collaboration with the pharmacy, bags for intaveinous infusion along with the specific protocols that she will give to the nurse in the treatment room.
9:15 The nurse in the treatment room calls me up and I get set-up in a leather armchair the reclining kind. This room contains 4 seats therefore 4 patients at a time.
9:45 The nurse now comes to take care of me. She must remove the bandages covering my transparent piccline then sanitize the region of insertion in the body. She flushes the piccline meaning she introduces a saline solution in the piccline tubing to be sure it is free of obstructions.
9:50 She installs my bag of Avastin (Bevacizumab) said this ten times in a row.
This bag is empty in 90 minutes. I read and listen to the radio at the same time. Josée sits on a small stool beside me. It is not very comfortable for her.
11:30 Avastin is now done. I get Kytril (granisetron) as my next perfusion. It's an anti nausea drug that lasts 24 hours. It is administered in 10 minutes.
11:40 Now the Oxiplatine and Leucovorin (folinic acid). Two bags at the same time for 2 hours. At this point I read half of Lance Armstrong's book. The Oxiplatine is the product that gives me the impression of having the fingertip like a pin cushion. This takes several minutes and then disappears. Then it returns from time to time during the evening and the two days following. My skin is also sensitive to cold for some time but all in all I tolerate pretty well all the poisons they give me.
13:45 Now time for the last part of the protocol FOLFOX (Oxaliplatin + Leucovorin +5 FU) : 5FU or Fluorouracil. This is the one that I have in my bottle during 46 hours. It begins with a bolus infusion over ten minutes and then the nurse installs the bottle on the piccline (see photos).
14:00 I am heading home. Josée took advantage of the time we were at the hospital for a few administrative details (copy of scan on CD, monthly parking packages, etc.). She also brought me lunch. I realise it is a long day for her but I know I could not do it without her present.
The Avastin has now added 90 minutes to the routine. In the third treatment they can make the infusion in 60 minutes and after that in 30 minutes.
Now you know to the minute the unfolding of MY chemo because you must also understand that each case is treated a little differently depending on their situation. Next to me today I had another man who had colon cancer. He was about my age. He had the privilege of having discovered the cancer early enough to be eligible for a radical total colostomy without a bag. He had a different catheter, implanted in the chest like a pacemaker and received preventive chemotherapy or in other words a chemo which ensured that there was no remaining cancer after surgery. His process and medicines was a little different from mine.
Good night!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Finally Some Sun
Not that I am complaining but I admit that the last few days of sun are fully appreciated. The weather was perfect for the garden party at my sister's. I can not eat corn because of its known effect in the colon. Should I say more? I still practiced a visualization exercise while watching the family enjoy their corn on the cob. I closed my eyes and I could se myself with a hot corn on the cob with butter dripping on all sides on which I poured an excessive amount of salt. The late afternoon sun made it glisten like gold. I was turning the corn with my fingers to make sure that the butter had moisten all kernels. I was seeing myself taking a big bite out of this magnificent summer treat. I was so good in my visualization that I was drooling. Yeah right, I was still hungry but still. Bob's spaghetti sauce was excellent and my Ensure (liquid nutrition) plugged the remaining hole in my hunger.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Appointment at the Pain Clinic
Today I went to the pain clinic at Sacre-Coeu, a follow-up appointment. I met Dr. B while during my hospital stay Dr. G was taking care of me. A little waiting but not too bad, time is a changing concept when you have cancer. A review of my case by Dr. B has taught us some new information on my case. At each meeting, we are more precise with our questions and answers are therefore also more accurate ... whenever possible. So I have a new pain killing cocktail as the other one worked very well but contributed to my constipation. They're not major changes but they will perhaps allow me to go do my # 2 without feeling like I just finished a marathon ;) Tomorrow we visit my sister Lilianne and Bob in St-Clet.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
What's up with chemo?
Hello, I thought that it would be interesting to explain how I receive chemotherapy. Of course there are variations in each case but I will describe my own situation below. I received my first chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday the 5th. It went well. I had no side effects except being a little bit tired 48 hours after the start of the treatment.
Let me explain treatments: Every two weeks I go to the hospital Sacré-Coeur where I intravenously receive a series of cytotoxic products (which kills the cells, yes, good and bad). The perfusion is done through a catheter installed on the inside of my left arm near the armpit. The catheter is installed for at least 6 months (it is called the Piccline). It consists of a tube of a few millimetres in diameter and about 20 cm long. So it enters my arm and goes through a deep vein almost up to the heart. That is so treatments are distributed to the rest of the body in the most direct and quickest possible way. Back to treatments, the first product injected into the catheter is an anti-nausea drug with a 24 hours effect. It seems to work very well because I did not experience any nausea after the first treatment. Then comes the chemo, the cocktail that I receive is called Folfox-6. It is a mix of three drugs which are regarded as the best of the best for colon cancer today. To this mix will be added another agent, Avastin, in the second round of treatment. Let me explain why later. Folfox is started at the hospital. Two of the three drugs are given to me over a period of about three hours. Then a nurse attaches on my catheter a bottle, they call it the "Biberon" in french (Biberon means a baby bottle in english), it contains the rest of the 5FU agent which must "infused" on a 46 additional hours schedule. I therefore leave the hospital around 13:00 (having begun treatment at 9:00) and for two days I have my bottle in a bag tied around the waist. I look like a tourist with my banana bag but at least I'm mobile. When the bottle is empty, a CLSC nurse comes to my house to unplug it. Why? The catheter installed on my arm is very convenient but it is also a direct opening to the inside of my body that does not offer any protection. Therefore the manipulation of the bottle must be done with a lot of safety and precaution (sterile conditions). Especially since chemotherapy treatments can possibly reduce the effectiveness of my immune system, therefore I must avoid infections at all cost. Once the bottle is removed there is nothing special. I take drugs to control the pain every day but nothing more. This cycle is repeated every two weeks for about 6 months, after which my oncologist will compare the new images of my abdomen to check if my tumors have reduced in size. As far as Avastin goes, one effect of this product is that it prevents scar healing. As I have a big scar on the stomach there needs to be at least a month between any operation and the start of Avastin.
Let me explain treatments: Every two weeks I go to the hospital Sacré-Coeur where I intravenously receive a series of cytotoxic products (which kills the cells, yes, good and bad). The perfusion is done through a catheter installed on the inside of my left arm near the armpit. The catheter is installed for at least 6 months (it is called the Piccline). It consists of a tube of a few millimetres in diameter and about 20 cm long. So it enters my arm and goes through a deep vein almost up to the heart. That is so treatments are distributed to the rest of the body in the most direct and quickest possible way. Back to treatments, the first product injected into the catheter is an anti-nausea drug with a 24 hours effect. It seems to work very well because I did not experience any nausea after the first treatment. Then comes the chemo, the cocktail that I receive is called Folfox-6. It is a mix of three drugs which are regarded as the best of the best for colon cancer today. To this mix will be added another agent, Avastin, in the second round of treatment. Let me explain why later. Folfox is started at the hospital. Two of the three drugs are given to me over a period of about three hours. Then a nurse attaches on my catheter a bottle, they call it the "Biberon" in french (Biberon means a baby bottle in english), it contains the rest of the 5FU agent which must "infused" on a 46 additional hours schedule. I therefore leave the hospital around 13:00 (having begun treatment at 9:00) and for two days I have my bottle in a bag tied around the waist. I look like a tourist with my banana bag but at least I'm mobile. When the bottle is empty, a CLSC nurse comes to my house to unplug it. Why? The catheter installed on my arm is very convenient but it is also a direct opening to the inside of my body that does not offer any protection. Therefore the manipulation of the bottle must be done with a lot of safety and precaution (sterile conditions). Especially since chemotherapy treatments can possibly reduce the effectiveness of my immune system, therefore I must avoid infections at all cost. Once the bottle is removed there is nothing special. I take drugs to control the pain every day but nothing more. This cycle is repeated every two weeks for about 6 months, after which my oncologist will compare the new images of my abdomen to check if my tumors have reduced in size. As far as Avastin goes, one effect of this product is that it prevents scar healing. As I have a big scar on the stomach there needs to be at least a month between any operation and the start of Avastin.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Dr W
We met Dr W today (Marie-Josee is of the opinion that I should not identify docs). It is an oncology surgeon . He came higly recommanded by a friend. Our visit goal was to identify a plan B if I were suffer a complete blockage of my colon. We also wanted to discuss the newest surgical techniques available. Dr W is a charming gentleman. He speaks impeccable french in a soothing and calming manner. He reassured Josée on actions to be taken in case of obstruction without calling it a plan B. He reiterated persuasively that the best scenario is that there is no blockage period. That we kind of knew. Finally, the visit has not provided much more information but at least he has my file and he is ready to come into action whenor if the time comes.
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