Let me share with you how I live daily with Martin's cancer. As you may imagine, I lived through all kinds of emotions, amd I'll continue to do so: shock, anger, denial, sadness ...
These emotions are surfacing at any time without warning. A song, a look, a hug, a comment and BANG! But eventually I was able to accept them and say tell myself: they are only passing through. Then we return to our life, one child asks for a glass of milk and life continues.
Luckily life gave me a great mental and physical strength, perhaps in anticipation of what would happen later. That determination combined with Martin's made us break down doors to get answers. We really took over the illness and as you know so well "no" was never an option for us. The most amazing is that the days when the strenght dips in one of us, the other hastened to restore it. Martin and I are definitely an amazing team.
The disruption that followed the diagnosis in July 2008 quickly gave way to a new routine. One comes to accept the disease, it is part of the family dynamics and it revolves around it. I assure you that the days where he is top shape, we take full advantage of it. The other days we surround him with our love while he recovers. My sadness on thos difficult chemo days is now replaced by my appreciation of the fact that he is still with us and he leads the battle with such humility and courage. I consider myself so lucky to have him in my life.
The most difficult for me in this adventure is the uncertainty. The resulting insecurity of our children saddens me. Anecdote, during a recent business trip to Toronto, my daughter called me several times saying: "But Mom when are you coming back? What happens if Dad is sick without you, we're children and can not care for him. "I did my best to reassure her.
When people ask me the question but how do you do it? I'd say my salvation over the past 14 months was to keep busy, taking charge of the medical file, taking care of my loved ones, my career keeps me busy and of course running. The more I keep busy with projects, the better for me.
In conclusion, I would encourage you to break your silence and show your support by writing to us. I know many of you read the blog and send positive vibes. If only you would see the smile on Martin's face when one of his faithful readers leaves a word of encouragement. It feeds him for the day!
We continue the battle and we need you all. After all, strength is in unity ;-)
Yours truly,
Marie-Josee
The wife of a cancer survivor
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