Today was a day of celebration.
You've read my blog on the visit to Dr. L and the scan results that were vague?
Dr L did not give us more details yet but we, through our connections, obtained the opinion of the surgeon who operated me in July. In essence the person that really saw what I had in my belly.
In fact, Marie-Josée had an appointment with her to receive the results of her breastst ultrasound. On this subject, everything is good. The surgeon ruled out the presence of breast cancer. That's our first celebration.
Then, Marie-Josée took the opportunity to submit all my scan reports. The July 21, the October 14 and the January 13 reports. Naturally, she did not really read the July report because she already knew the content since she had requested it. She read the January 13 and went back to read the October 14 . She, who had described to Josée the tumors in my abdomen, is adament. I respond remarkably well to the chemo and Avastin because the 30 centimeters mass is gone. She even said it was a miracle. Celebrations are in order. Marie-Josée is ecstatic. I am very happy too. I refrain from too much joy though. On the one hand my hematologist has not shown the same enthusiasm and on the other hand there are still a few small spots near the liver and right colon area. The battle is not over.
Don't get me wrong, I am not pessimistic. I am extremely happy. I have a large grin, the kind that says: Told ya this / "$ @ tumor would vanished. But I admit that I am looking forward to Dr L telling me: Mr. Raymond we have reached our goal, you are in remission. There is no doubt that I will be ecstatic then.
In the mean time we continue to smile, fight and tonight we made a toast to the disappearance of the monster in my belly.
To Health!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
90 degree turn
Yesterday I received my 12th Folfox treatment (leucovorin/5-FU/Oxaliplatine).
In fact, I have not received it in full because only 3 minutes after the start of the oxaliplatin (which is given over 2 hours) I had an allergic reaction with a major drop in blood pressure. That was enough to spike the stress level of the nurse and my wife. The nurse who took care of me was tensed when she saw my pressure drop to 80/53 in a few seconds. I went from scarlet red to green/white according to my wife. I sweated profusely. I felt like a rock was in my stomach that gave me nausea. I had also an urgentneed to defecate. All this despite 50 mg of Benadryl given in prophylaxis. This whole episode lasted about 10 minutes during which they gave me a shot Solu-Cortef to stop the reaction and try to raise my blood pressure. When my blood pressure started to come back to normal they added another 25mg of Benadryl. Naturally they stopped the Oxaliplatin right away.
We knew that one day I would no longer tolerate this poison but I believed it would be later. Let's say we had to go to option #2 a bit earlier.
Option #2 is is Folfiri. It is almost the same cocktail with the exception of oxalipatine which is replaced by Irinotecan (Camptosar). The latter has different side effects than the Oxaliplatin. Instead of the neuropathy which gave me a hypersensitivity to cold in the form of tingling in the fingertips, nose and toes, I will now have to manage diarrhea.
So I went back to hospital today to get my Folfiri. It is 22:30 when I write this blog and the treatment is well tolerated.
The positive side:
-My fingers are expected to return to normal within a few weeks
-The product change could have a beneficial effect and accelerate the disappearance of the lesions. You should know that cancer cells are smart and can adapt to the poison that we throw at them and successfully resist after a while. So, changing the poison can surprise the cells and lead to better response. Cross our fingers.
Conclusion we must always be ready to take a 90 degrees turn.
In fact, I have not received it in full because only 3 minutes after the start of the oxaliplatin (which is given over 2 hours) I had an allergic reaction with a major drop in blood pressure. That was enough to spike the stress level of the nurse and my wife. The nurse who took care of me was tensed when she saw my pressure drop to 80/53 in a few seconds. I went from scarlet red to green/white according to my wife. I sweated profusely. I felt like a rock was in my stomach that gave me nausea. I had also an urgentneed to defecate. All this despite 50 mg of Benadryl given in prophylaxis. This whole episode lasted about 10 minutes during which they gave me a shot Solu-Cortef to stop the reaction and try to raise my blood pressure. When my blood pressure started to come back to normal they added another 25mg of Benadryl. Naturally they stopped the Oxaliplatin right away.
We knew that one day I would no longer tolerate this poison but I believed it would be later. Let's say we had to go to option #2 a bit earlier.
Option #2 is is Folfiri. It is almost the same cocktail with the exception of oxalipatine which is replaced by Irinotecan (Camptosar). The latter has different side effects than the Oxaliplatin. Instead of the neuropathy which gave me a hypersensitivity to cold in the form of tingling in the fingertips, nose and toes, I will now have to manage diarrhea.
So I went back to hospital today to get my Folfiri. It is 22:30 when I write this blog and the treatment is well tolerated.
The positive side:
-My fingers are expected to return to normal within a few weeks
-The product change could have a beneficial effect and accelerate the disappearance of the lesions. You should know that cancer cells are smart and can adapt to the poison that we throw at them and successfully resist after a while. So, changing the poison can surprise the cells and lead to better response. Cross our fingers.
Conclusion we must always be ready to take a 90 degrees turn.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Beautiful Holiday Season
The holiday period is already over but it was lots of fun. We had a schedule to our taste. We attended two shows. The first was High School Musical the Ice Tour. For those familiar with this ice version of this musical it incorporates HSM 1 and 2. High School Musical III will b e out soon. Thank you to Francine and Geneviève which enabled us to see this show. The timing was perfect since Tristan is preparing a year-end show at school based on HSM 2.
The second show that we saw during the holiday season is the classic Nutcracker at Place des Arts. Last-minute decision, typical I believe, of families in our situation. An excellent show for the well known musical pieces as well as its magnificent decor. A great way to introduce children to live classical music and ballet.
We also had rest days, without specific schedule. During these days we were out of bed later, the day was spent in pyjamas playing some of the games children received for Christmas. Mom played dolls (Barbies) with Élodie and Dad played with the boys on the Xbox and a game Monopoly World Edition.
We also played street hockey with Jordan putting on his new goalie equipment. Jordan loves to play in goals and Tristan with his experience in hockey cosom is an excellent forward. Élodie, she likes to be outside with her brothers but do not like hockey that much.
The children were given beautiful gifts. They played a lot during this holiday season. They also love their digital photo camera. Grandpa Santa, gave them an excellent quality compact camera with which they can all let go their artistic side with glee. Long live digital!
I’d like to say thank you to all our hosts. It is certain that the holidays are less tiring when you are not the host but the guest. I speak mostly on behalf of Marie-Josée because she has the most to do in these situations. So thank you to Pierre and Sandrine, Lilianne and Bob, Johanne and Gen, Danielle and Bill and Grandpa and Loulou.
Thank you to Grandpa who invited us to the restaurant where he made sure to have live piano just for us during dinner… and after. Beautiful evening where Josée took the opportunity to relax completely (with a little help of an excellent bottle of wine ;-).
I say a big thank you to my brother Jocelyn who came before Christmas to clean the garage under the instructions of MJ. Thanks to him, now we could fit MJ’s car in the garage. That is until we bought the treadmill. It occupies all the space but now it's for a good cause. Josée can continue her training when the temperature does not allow for outside running. I also use it when I can, and even the children use it. Élodie is doing her 1 Km while Tristan and Jordan go for 3 Km. Mom is very motivating for her children, they want to imitate.
Finally, I want to thank Guy Boucher, a friend who is primarily a friend of Pierre, who coaches in the junior hockey league. He was appointed assistant coach to Pat Quinn at the world junior hockey championship, which took place in Ottawa. He called me to offer me tickets. I unfortunately had to refuse his offer but I am grateful to him for thinking of me and my boys for the occasion.
This message can be late but I started to write on January 6. I delayed it because I had the inspiration for other shorter messages more relevant over time and so on. Still, I really wanted to express our thanks to everyone who is part of our support network. You are so important in the situation we live.
Thank you!
The second show that we saw during the holiday season is the classic Nutcracker at Place des Arts. Last-minute decision, typical I believe, of families in our situation. An excellent show for the well known musical pieces as well as its magnificent decor. A great way to introduce children to live classical music and ballet.
We also had rest days, without specific schedule. During these days we were out of bed later, the day was spent in pyjamas playing some of the games children received for Christmas. Mom played dolls (Barbies) with Élodie and Dad played with the boys on the Xbox and a game Monopoly World Edition.
We also played street hockey with Jordan putting on his new goalie equipment. Jordan loves to play in goals and Tristan with his experience in hockey cosom is an excellent forward. Élodie, she likes to be outside with her brothers but do not like hockey that much.
The children were given beautiful gifts. They played a lot during this holiday season. They also love their digital photo camera. Grandpa Santa, gave them an excellent quality compact camera with which they can all let go their artistic side with glee. Long live digital!
I’d like to say thank you to all our hosts. It is certain that the holidays are less tiring when you are not the host but the guest. I speak mostly on behalf of Marie-Josée because she has the most to do in these situations. So thank you to Pierre and Sandrine, Lilianne and Bob, Johanne and Gen, Danielle and Bill and Grandpa and Loulou.
Thank you to Grandpa who invited us to the restaurant where he made sure to have live piano just for us during dinner… and after. Beautiful evening where Josée took the opportunity to relax completely (with a little help of an excellent bottle of wine ;-).
I say a big thank you to my brother Jocelyn who came before Christmas to clean the garage under the instructions of MJ. Thanks to him, now we could fit MJ’s car in the garage. That is until we bought the treadmill. It occupies all the space but now it's for a good cause. Josée can continue her training when the temperature does not allow for outside running. I also use it when I can, and even the children use it. Élodie is doing her 1 Km while Tristan and Jordan go for 3 Km. Mom is very motivating for her children, they want to imitate.
Finally, I want to thank Guy Boucher, a friend who is primarily a friend of Pierre, who coaches in the junior hockey league. He was appointed assistant coach to Pat Quinn at the world junior hockey championship, which took place in Ottawa. He called me to offer me tickets. I unfortunately had to refuse his offer but I am grateful to him for thinking of me and my boys for the occasion.
This message can be late but I started to write on January 6. I delayed it because I had the inspiration for other shorter messages more relevant over time and so on. Still, I really wanted to express our thanks to everyone who is part of our support network. You are so important in the situation we live.
Thank you!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Appointment with my hematologist - Dr L
Yes, this morning we had an appointment with Dr. L. Important appointment as we reviewed the report of the last scan. Time goes by so fast. In short, the results are positive. There ais a slight regression in the words of the radiologist. One of the spot around my liver has shrunk from 11 mm to 7 mm. I bet you this one will be gone on the next scan. The Dr was happy even though he was not super excited. He shared MJ's view, to say that the regression is slow. Yet again things are going in the right direction. The report also indicates that Dr. L should continue with treatment without any change yet. Markers? My CEA is now at 6.2 (6.4 last time) It is a small difference but again in the right direction.
What has been the most fascinating in this meeting is that the radiologist's report is rather vague and we noted that in all three scan reports no mention of the 30 cm mass seen by the surgeon in July. When we asked Dr L what happened to this mass, he could not answer us. So it is intriguing. Stay tuned because Dr. L has promised to call the radiologist and ask for more details.
Remember this, Qui va piano va sano, slowly but surely... it is a philosophy that fits my character. When it comes to beating cancer I have all the time on earth.
Stay tuned!
What has been the most fascinating in this meeting is that the radiologist's report is rather vague and we noted that in all three scan reports no mention of the 30 cm mass seen by the surgeon in July. When we asked Dr L what happened to this mass, he could not answer us. So it is intriguing. Stay tuned because Dr. L has promised to call the radiologist and ask for more details.
Remember this, Qui va piano va sano, slowly but surely... it is a philosophy that fits my character. When it comes to beating cancer I have all the time on earth.
Stay tuned!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
It's Not Fair
MJ recently told me with great emotion that it was not fair that our children have to live with the cancer of a parent. I immediately played it down by saying that this would make them even more able to listen to others, they will get mature faster, that it is a test of character.
Yesterday we went skiing. It was the 4th day post chemotherapy # 11. I felt better than I would have thought. I contributed to the preparation and I even drove all the way up. We arrived at Mount Habitant and we were on the slopes at noon. The cold didn't seem to affect me too much. I made two runs and we took a break. Lunch, rest and restroom ... I did not return. The energy had left my body like thief, quickly without warning. Marie-Josée returned on the slopes with the three children. Meanwhile, I took off my boots, put the equipment in the van and fell asleep in the front seat. I was awakened by a call on my cell phone. It was MJ but I did not respond in time. So I got out of the van and went towards the lift. I saw Josée going to the bathroom with Élodie. The two boys went for a run on their own. I felt horrible when I realized that I could not help my wife to handle the children, ouch! Marie-Josée despite my insistence tok care of Élodie's needs. I went back in the car. I did not go back to sleep but I rested enough to the point where I felt my energy replenished. So I participated in packing up the equipment at the end of the day of skiing: 15:40.
In less than three hours of skiing, the family managed to do 7 runs (even 8 for Tristan who made a solo run). Then I insisted on taking the wheel even if my wife offered to take it. Although it felt essential to have a coffee at Tim's in St-Sauveur. Despite the caffeine, my wife watching me, begged me to let her drive. I finally agreed when we got to Mirabel, where as soon as I sat on the passenger seat, I fell asleep like a child. I woke up in the Costco parking in Boisbriand when my wife and my oldest emptied the shopping cart. I had been sleeping for 45 minutes. My wife was smiling and my oldest was just as excited to be the man of the family.
This is where I cracked.
I started to cry and I said to my wife, it's not fair ...
MJ surprised, wondered what's wrong? It's not fair that my children have to live with my cancer. It's not fair that my kids have to grow old so quickly.
Tristan continued to act as a man when we arrived home. He emptied the van with his mother, he got wood inside for the fireplace and he did everything with a smile and the strength of a young man. Remember he is 11 years old, not 13, not 15, eleven years old. Jordan, my 9 year old son, pitched in by starting the fire. Emotions are mixed in a period like that. I am proud to have children like mine, but at the same time, I felt like half a man. Unable to help. My wife has to bear a huge burden because of cancer. A life that we were strolling through with two active adults in full possession of their means, it is quite another thing when it becomes 1 and a quarter of an adult. The division of labor is not equal, MJ is now taking 1 and 3 / 4 of the responsibilities while I take a mere 1 / 4. Worse, in my days post-chemo, I do nothing and I become a burden.
This is not fair.
It's crazy because justice has always been close to my heart. Most of the quarrels of my life have been because of injustice (perceived or real). Hockey, soccer, referees and players were yelled at in the name of justice or fairness. Finally, we say that cancer gives lessons that we must listen to and understand. It's hard but I try to be attentive. In this case I think someone is trying to make me understand that being too proud pride is not a good thing. Also, it is necessary that I learned to live temporarily with limitations due to my treatment and accept help from others even when others are my wife and children. I cried a bunch yesterday, I was probably due ... or I was weak because of my treatments (wink ;-) I'd have other things to say but I'd feel redundant so have a great day!
Yesterday we went skiing. It was the 4th day post chemotherapy # 11. I felt better than I would have thought. I contributed to the preparation and I even drove all the way up. We arrived at Mount Habitant and we were on the slopes at noon. The cold didn't seem to affect me too much. I made two runs and we took a break. Lunch, rest and restroom ... I did not return. The energy had left my body like thief, quickly without warning. Marie-Josée returned on the slopes with the three children. Meanwhile, I took off my boots, put the equipment in the van and fell asleep in the front seat. I was awakened by a call on my cell phone. It was MJ but I did not respond in time. So I got out of the van and went towards the lift. I saw Josée going to the bathroom with Élodie. The two boys went for a run on their own. I felt horrible when I realized that I could not help my wife to handle the children, ouch! Marie-Josée despite my insistence tok care of Élodie's needs. I went back in the car. I did not go back to sleep but I rested enough to the point where I felt my energy replenished. So I participated in packing up the equipment at the end of the day of skiing: 15:40.
In less than three hours of skiing, the family managed to do 7 runs (even 8 for Tristan who made a solo run). Then I insisted on taking the wheel even if my wife offered to take it. Although it felt essential to have a coffee at Tim's in St-Sauveur. Despite the caffeine, my wife watching me, begged me to let her drive. I finally agreed when we got to Mirabel, where as soon as I sat on the passenger seat, I fell asleep like a child. I woke up in the Costco parking in Boisbriand when my wife and my oldest emptied the shopping cart. I had been sleeping for 45 minutes. My wife was smiling and my oldest was just as excited to be the man of the family.
This is where I cracked.
I started to cry and I said to my wife, it's not fair ...
MJ surprised, wondered what's wrong? It's not fair that my children have to live with my cancer. It's not fair that my kids have to grow old so quickly.
Tristan continued to act as a man when we arrived home. He emptied the van with his mother, he got wood inside for the fireplace and he did everything with a smile and the strength of a young man. Remember he is 11 years old, not 13, not 15, eleven years old. Jordan, my 9 year old son, pitched in by starting the fire. Emotions are mixed in a period like that. I am proud to have children like mine, but at the same time, I felt like half a man. Unable to help. My wife has to bear a huge burden because of cancer. A life that we were strolling through with two active adults in full possession of their means, it is quite another thing when it becomes 1 and a quarter of an adult. The division of labor is not equal, MJ is now taking 1 and 3 / 4 of the responsibilities while I take a mere 1 / 4. Worse, in my days post-chemo, I do nothing and I become a burden.
This is not fair.
It's crazy because justice has always been close to my heart. Most of the quarrels of my life have been because of injustice (perceived or real). Hockey, soccer, referees and players were yelled at in the name of justice or fairness. Finally, we say that cancer gives lessons that we must listen to and understand. It's hard but I try to be attentive. In this case I think someone is trying to make me understand that being too proud pride is not a good thing. Also, it is necessary that I learned to live temporarily with limitations due to my treatment and accept help from others even when others are my wife and children. I cried a bunch yesterday, I was probably due ... or I was weak because of my treatments (wink ;-) I'd have other things to say but I'd feel redundant so have a great day!
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