We'll get there!

Lately I think I just forget who I am and my core principles. In the last month I was waiting for my energy to come back to feel good. It's as if I told myself when I have the energy I will make plans, smile, get involved.
This morning I listened to a recording of Dr. Simonton provided by my wife's doctor. This recording reminded me that the healing process is opposite to the one I was living recently. That is to say that this is not the body that dictates the level of energy of your spirit, but the opposite. I temporarily forgot that what my thoughts defined how I feel. I had an awakening, a kind of "Ha Ha" moment. This is not instantaneous but I did set a new foundation for my healing, some new thoughts.
I have no excuses for this but I realize now that I dreaded my first appointment post surgery with my hematologist Dr. L. I realized that I had mixed emotions. I was happy to see him because he always gives me confidence but I did not want to disappoint him by admitting that I was not ready for a round of chemo. At the same time I was afraid he would tell me it had to be done now. But Dr. L is a great doctor. I did not feel any pressure. I felt great compassion and from the beginning I felt that we were a team.
He told me the level of my markers: 3. He said it was excellent the lowest level since the beginning. He was happy with the situation except that I lose a lot of weight. He suggested I meet with the nutritionist to establish a plan. I have an appointment next Monday. I will see DR L. in two weeks to reassess the possibility of starting chemotherapy.

A former classmate of MJ has a brother who was diagnosed with brain cancer. He is followed by the same hematologist than me (coincidence?). This classmate told him about me because she follows my situation through facebook and my blog. Her brother said that my story inspired him and gave him hope. As he is hospitalized, MJ and I went to visit him yesterday. Even though I was not a portrait of energy, I wanted to tell him in person not to quit and keep the faith.
Today he is going for brain surgery. I prayed for him all night without being able to stop it's as if we had a cosmic connection. My mind was constantly thinking about him and praying. At the point where I did not get to sleep. I made up for it this morning sleeping from 10am to noon. I tell you this story because yesterday's visit put things in perspective for me.

Thank you again for all your support on facebook on the blog or in my email.

Santé!