Who Am I?

Odd question, eh!

Let me explain my point. Since July 2008, I defined myself as as a man with stage 4 colon cancer stage 4. Even once in a conversation with the social worker, I made a freudian slip, I said I am a colon cancer. She replied by saying you have cancer, you are not a cancer. Of course that's what I meant but the slip made me think for a moment on how I perceived my illness.
So, I said that I saw myself for a year as a man with a diagnosis of colon cancer. Except that since June 3, there is no visible trace of cancer and my markers are in the normal range. Do I still define myself the same way. Instead, I want to see the positive side. I could define myself as a survivor. The survival period is not very long but still.
I talked to my mentor (Barry). He suggested that i say that I am NED, which he uses for himself. NED means No Evidence of Disease and in his case it's been about 7 years. Talking to Barry is always comforting, I think it's appropriate to say that I have been NED for 2 months. It's similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, they count the number of days of sobriety. Also there is something in the act of saying "no evidence of disease" which puts a smile on my face.
Some of you will say it's simple you're Martin Raymond. But you see this is not the same Martin as before the disease. Cancer changes you and like it or not it is part of me now (without evidence or present). So to define myself simply as Martin seems incomplete, not very precise. This is not a question of wanting to feel sorry or attract pity, I think it's just who I really am a cancer survivor NED since 2 months. Have you ever asked the question, Who are you? ... What is the answer? You are welcome to share your thoughts with me via email (more private) or via comments on the blog.

Santé!